The John Stamos Guide to Cuddling

Since my cuddling blog from a few weeks ago proved to be popular I thought I'd share this "how to"  I came across courtesy of John Stamos.  Enjoy.

http://www.collegehumor.com/video/6582695/john-stamos-guide-to-cuddling

Free Your Mind, Free Your Puswah

I got into a rather heated discussion with a married female friend of mine about the difficulty of a female orgasm. It's OK. We have that kind of platonic relationship where we can discuss such things.

Our candid conversation (you don't think I have any other kind?) specifically centered around "faking it."  With all due respect to Elaine Benes and Meg Ryan, men neither appreciate the theatrics, nor want a woman to misrepresent.  As a valuable rule of thumb moving forward ladies, if you're willing to get naked with us, then you need to be just as willing to get real with us.

When it comes to performance, men always want the truth. Always. If you tell us we're not getting the job done, more than likely, if we care about you at all, we're going to want to know. We want to please you and complete the mission. After all, we want a second...and third helping. 

Every woman requires a different operating manual. Like Jerry McGuire said. Help me, help you!  Tell me what you need from me, what we need to do, what we don't need to do. Men are fixers and problem solvers. More than anything in this world, we want to be counted on to get the job done. Trust that.

My friend said part of the reason for her lack of honesty at times was because she never wanted to see the person again. Come again? Why would you get naked in the first place if you had no intention of seeing him again? And if the only reason you don't want to see him again is because he sucked...well then there must have been enough good things about him to get you into this position in the first place...which begs the question. Why wouldn't you want to guide him to the finish line?  I guarantee you all men who get naked intend to finish.  Unless of course, he's just so so beyond help, there's no training the poor boy.  Just know that practice makes perfect...for the most part, great lovers are made, not born. 

But I digress. Back to the faking it part. Yes. We have fragile egos. Yes. We are way more sensitive than you ever imagined us to be. However, and I cannot stress this enough....if you think we just flat out suck...tell us! And please tell us why. We'll never get any better if we don't know what we're doing wrong!

Now...we also understand there's another possible reason for you to fake it. And this one's going to sting a bit, so I'll just come out and say it as simply as I can.

It's not us. It's YOU.

Most men can cum at the drop of the first nipple. Women...not so much. You people are like trying to put together an all night jigsaw puzzle. Time, patience, attention to detail...no telling how long we could be here until you finish. 

One thing my friend unequivocally agreed upon was she needed to be relaxed to orgasm. Hallelujah! We got something to go with.

I cannot stress enough how important it is for you to just relax...not only in your private area...but in you're mind. Mostly your mind. Even the woman who shredded my heart and aborted her pending orgasm with me admitted that a female orgasm takes an emotional trigger. It's kind of amusing to me how women everywhere can't wait to have an natural orgasm, and this particular one chose to completely shut herself down in my presence for reasons that will continue to remain unclear...aside from the fact...her orgasm may have been "cheating" to her. Nevertheless, that's her fucked up problem.....Back to you and your issues.

Free your mind. Free your Puswah. Yeah...it really can be that easy. 

In other words. Stop sabotaging your orgasm! Don't believe me? Let's ask Dr. Ruth.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eO7WZQrq6RE

CONTROL is not your friend when you want to cum. Let yourself go. Stop trying to control everything. The very nature of an orgasm is losing control! Why do you think men try so hard not to cum?! We're doing everything in our power to try to control ourselves in the face of your breathtaking beauty. 

I know you're still not convinced. It's more complicated than that, right? Everything is complicated with women.  Maybe we should leave the male species on this one and ask one of your own. 

Dr. Ruth please enlighten these ladies once more. *But only pay attention to the first part. I disagree with the 2nd part. If you need an "outside" force to get you aroused then you're with the wrong guy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kBXgcF4rpno

After you open your va-jayjay, open your mind....and, if need be, your mouth...and  your orgasm will follow.  Free your Puswah today!

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As always comments and questions are appreciated.

Email:  thenakedtruthforwomen@yahoo.com

Twitter:  @thenakedtruther

Be True to Thy Self

I've spent a lot of time writing about how men think and what we want from women. I'm going to change direction here and offer some advice which I think applies to all of us, but particularly women. 

Ask any man what a woman wants and he has no idea....ask a woman and her answer might depend on the time of day or the brightness of the moon or, of course, that time of the month. When it comes to dating and loving men figure out what's most important to you. Is it a smile on your face, financial security, laughter, abnormally large male genitalia? Whatever  makes you happiest, that's what, and who you should focus on.

Now, knowing exactly what makes you happy takes some inward thought and self awareness.  Enlighten thyself. This requires purity, honesty and courage. You must be true to your heart. You can't live your life worrying what you should be doing, or who you should be doing, or who "they" think you should be doing.  Spend less time questioning yourself and start trusting your feelings more. Forget about men for a second.  What do you need?

Once you learn to ignore the outside noise and listen to your heart, you'll find it much easier to find the "right" guy for you.

The Look

The look is perhaps my favorite "thing" when it comes to women. It's impact is immeasurable and can never happen often enough . Look at him just right and he'll love you forever.

I pulled some of my favorite "fictional" looks, which is appropriate because "the look" can only  be properly described as something out of a fairytale. These images also prove "the look" can be faked...even as it feels and looks so real. Some women can be exceptional actresses when they want to be.

In a previous blog entry I quoted a classic Springsteen lyric, "I want to know if love is real" from the song, Born to Run. I know one thing, if the the look is real, then so is the love. How do I know?

 it's....

IN YOUR EYES

 Frankie and Johnny

 Penny Lane is in my ears...

 One Fine Day

....you're gonna want me for your girl

 I'm not asking you to marry me, 

I'm just asking you not to marry him

 I believe we have two lives:

 the one we learn with

 and the one we live with after that

 For me the sun rises and sets with her, man

 There's always another a girl.

So, did you find another girl?

I didn't look.

"Well, I believe in 

the soul, the cock, the pussy, 

the small of a woman's back,

the hanging curve ball, 

high fiber, good scotch,

that the novels of Susan Sontag

are self-indulgent, overrated crap.

 I believe 

Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone.

I believe

 there ought to be

a constitutional amendment

outlawing Astroturf

and the designated hitter.

I believe in the sweet spot, 

soft-core pornography, 

opening your presents

Christmas morning

rather than Christmas Eve

 and I believe in

long, 

slow, 

deep, 

soft, 

wet kisses

 that 

last three days."  

OH MY...

 And everyone knows that 

hate is not the opposite of love.

Indifference is.

Well, whatever you say. 

I really don't care.

 Well, if we're meant to meet again, 

then we'll meet again. 

It's just not the right time now. 

Maybe we're supposed to meet on British time

 and we're 5 hours early right now.

 I never gave you the book because

 it was the only thing I had left of you. 

You complete me.

You had me at Hello.

 This could get complicated.

 Jeffrey

Maude?

Love me

That's my robe

 

 There is no life without love. 

worth having anyway.

 I don't know - you meet thousands of people

and none of them really touch you. 

And then you meet one person

 and your life is changed forever.

 It was always you...

 Women weaken legs!

 Don't cry little shop girl

 O!

I came here tonight because 

when you realize you want to spend

the rest of your life with somebody, 

you want the rest of your life

to start as soon as possible

 I know you have trouble dealing with a woman

 in a position of authority. 

Whoa, wait a minute.

I resent that.

I've never had trouble with a woman

 in ANY position. 

 Um...Fiona?

Yes, Shrek?

I...I love you.

Really?

Really, really!

Mmmmm....I love you too.

We can stay up late swapping manly stories,

and in the morning I'm making waffles.

HA!

 With her killer graces

And her secret places

That no boy can fill

With her hands on her hips

Oh and that smile on her lips

Because she knows that it kills me

With her soft French cream

Standing in that doorway like a dream

I wish she'd just leave me alone

Because French cream won't soften them boots

And French kisses will not break that heart of stone

With her long hair falling

And her eyes that shine like a midnight sun

Oh she's the one

She's the one

That thunder in your heart

At night when you're kneeling in the dark

It says you're never gonna leave her 

But there's this angel in her eyes

That tells such desperate lies

And all you want to do is believe her

And tonight you'll try 

Just one more time

To leave it all behind

And to break on through

Oh she can take you

But if she wants to break you

She's gonna find out that ain't so easy to do

And no matte where you sleep

Tonight or how far you run

Oh she's the one

She's the one

Oh and just one kiss

She'd fill them long summer nights

With her tenderness

That secret pact you made

Back when her love could save you

From the bitterness

Oh she's the one

Oh she's the one

Oh she's the one

Oh she's the one

----------------------------

As always, 

your comments are welcomed at

 thenakedtruthforwomen@yahoo.com

 or via Twitter

 @TheNakedTruther

Katherine Webb

For those of you who don't know who "Katherine Webb" is she's the reigning Miss Alabama who rose to national prominence after TV announcer Brent Musberger gushed over her during the BCS National Championship Football game on ESPN between Alabama and Notre Dame. And with all due respect to the 73 yr old Musberger, "gushed" is putting it mildly.

Katherine also happens to be the current girl friend of Alabama QB AJ McCarron, which is how she ended up on TV to begin with. Here's a shot of her from the game...more than likely cheering for her "man."

The reason I bring her up is not to prove the point that a beautiful woman can so easily and quickly raise the interest of men everywhere...some 271,000 plus instant twitter followers can attest to that...but rather to make another curious observation.

Despite her new found fame and media frenzy that now surrounds her...Sports Illustrated even asked her, at the last minute, to appear in their annual upcoming Swimsuit issue and Inside Edition hired to be a correspondent during Super Bowl week....she publicly remains committed to her relationship with AJ. Although they've only been dating a month and actually met on Twitter, she's claimed in numerous interviews that her relationship is priority number one and she will not do anything to jeopardize it. This declaration comes after AJ has publicly stated he's not thrilled with his girlfriend's attention and new found celebrity status. You see...according to Katherine, AJ prefers to stay at home and curl up on the couch...which is just fine with her. 

So my point....

I am shocked to hear a modern woman stand by her man with such loyalty and conviction, especially if it means sacrificing her own career. She's shouting to anyone who will listen that, for her, love comes first in her life. I've never heard a woman of today (as in a woman not of my Mother's generation) say love matters above all else. It's remarkable and refreshing.

Now, the cynic in me sees mucho trouble on the horizon for the infamous couple. Forget the fact that Katherine is actually an Auburn alum...how about the outward cries of jealousy and strong arm control exhibited by AJ toward his girl and her pursuits? Seems all too typical for an elite, spoiled and coddled athlete such as himself. Just ask Miss Rosa Blasi about dating professional and semi-pro athletes...or just read her book, Jock Itch: The Misadventures of a Retired Jersey Chaser

If we're to take Miss Webb at her word, my question is, how could she possibly want to be with someone who isn't 100% supportive and happy for her professional success? An elite level athlete like AJ needs and expects the focus to always be on him. The irony is that AJ's the only reason she's got 271,000 new followers, and despite the fact that he "made her", no one cares about him anymore!

Good luck Katherine. Hope it works out for you....just when it doesn't, don't expect any sympathy from this guy....or any guy for that matter.

Being "Too Busy"

This expression is tossed around quite a bit in the real world. We're all busy...well....most of us anyway. My schedule's pretty free. At any rate, when it comes to dating, woman need to understand that no man is ever "too busy" for a piece of pussy....especially, if he's in love with it.

Being "too busy" is the oldest excuse in the book. While both men and women use it all the time, I've never known a guy who wouldn't make the time to see a woman he likes. In fact, he'll do everything and anything to make the necessary time for her. No schedule is too full to indulge in a slice of his favorite pie.

On the other hand, I've known plenty of women who treat a man they're "seeing" as someone they need to squeeze into their day planner.  No man wishes to feel like they're a line item appointment in her "busy"day book....unless they're penciled in for a "Nooner."  That was a joke....maybe.

Busy is a state of mind. Not a state of being.  How can you be "too busy" to smile? Or to laugh? Or to feel "good?" ....all of which can be delivered from seeing someone else.  The answer is you're not. Unless of course you're a narcissist, then you're able to receive all of those pleasantries from yourself. You alone is all you need to be happy, right?  Which then begs the following question, Are people who are too busy to see you, in fact, narcissists?

Well...not necessarily...they may just not like you....at all. You may make them feel lousy, so why would they want to see you?  At least when it comes to men, any man who's "too busy" to meet you definitely does not think too much of you.

I've often wondered how "busy" women date at all. They seem so wrapped up in their world and their issues how could they possibly share themselves with someone else? Perhaps focus is a better descriptor. Woman have the innate ability to hyper focus on whatever task or project is at hand and not allow any distraction by way of a man to interfere. On the other hand, men are so distracted by women...that everything else takes a distant back seat. Take for instance George and Jerry.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q5F8g1SgpuU

Men are incredibly focused on woman...at all times....especially when it comes to cleavage in the area. Whereas, the perception most men maintain is that woman spend a considerable amount of time focusing on themselves, completely ambivalent and unaware to any man within their narrow line of sight. 

In a metaphysical enlightened sense, women are the object of all our desires. And no one's ever too busy for a little enlightenment.

------------------------------

Your comments are always welcomed at thenakedtruthforwomen@yahoo.com

 or via Twitter @TheNakedTruther

Ambiguous Communication

If you're at all a  regular reader of this blog then you know one of the things I probably stress above all else is proper communication. And perhaps, the only thing more frustrating than a lack of communication is ambiguous communication.

Properly communicating does not mean we should be left to figure out what something means or what you "really meant to say." Out with it. Be open. Be more honest.

Recently I exchanged a series of emails with a female reader of the blog who I've only met in person a couple of times. She claims to be a "big fan" of the writing and has even been the source of one particular entry. The precise one is irrelevant for this discussion. I'll respectfully keep her musings confidential. So I casually mentioned in one of our emails about meeting up for a drink because I had some personal questions to ask her and I thought it might be fun to just shoot the shit with her. She replied with the most curious of answers.

"I am so not meeting you for a drink."

Now...if she had just said, "I don't think it's a good idea we meet in person because...." well, then there would be no reason to write this entry, would there?  So...I guess I should thank her for providing me with another topic.  I guess what intrigues the most about the rejection is the "so" part of it. For the record, I was not trying to "hook up" with this person...that's not my MO. Maybe she thought it was and maybe she never even thought it at all....but adding the "so" to the "not meeting" me part is rather striking.  What did she think could come from an in-person encounter? Was she worried she may become attracted to me? Was she worried because she's familiar from reading what transpires from "casual" encounters with women from Chicago?. Yeah...she's a Chicago woman...so that certainly makes me think twice....but again...this is more about what she's thinking....not me.....and of course, I have no idea what she's really thinking because of her failure to properly communicate.

So, I'm left with the proverbial bottom line. She doesn't want to meet up with me. Period. Whatever her reason is for not wanting to shouldn't matter. Right? Isn't that the point when you ignore someone or reject someone? Who cares why? The only thing that matters is the end result. Well, I'm not okay with it. And never have been. I think too many people, men and women, too easily brush the "why" aside in favor of the bottom line. The same reasoning is often used in sports, Winning is the only thing that matters. I disagree. How you win and how you act after you've won are every bit as important as how you got there.

We can't evolve and we certainly can't learn without understanding the cause AND the effect. It's just like when you break up with someone. Tell me why! I can get over it or adjust my future behavior if I know why.

In all fairness to this woman, she owes me nothing; certainly not an explanation or justification. All I'm saying is, that it would be nice to have one. If only for human decency. Then again, maybe that's too much to ask in this bitter world we now seem to live in. Not enough people care what others think. We should matter more to one another, shouldn't we?

-------------------------------------------------

UPDATE

So, it's not often I continue the discussion of an entry once it's posted. However, this particular one received some immediate feedback worth sharing.

Here's some comments from a female friend who reads all of the blog's entries:

Wow, another interesting topic!

I was glad to hear from your last that you are not giving up on love!

My point of view is that a lot of woman are not very good at being that open

when it comes to communicating. Females have a way of communicating that 

often is not open and direct enough for men to understand. What is interesting

we as communicate to other women, we don't have to be very direct. We seem to 

connect the lines without it being completely spelled out. I think we often forget

that we need to use and different method when talking to a guy. Thanks for the 

reminder. I'm sure it must seem that we want you guys to be mind readers.

It's kind of the way we are built…It has taken me a while to figure this out…

And you really have to be careful of those Chicago woman...

As a matter of relevance, this woman from above also happens to be yet another "Chicago" woman. I'm sure it's difficult to believe at this point, but honestly, I do not go around seeking Chicago women. If only it were that easy.

Another dedicated reader is my Uncle who not only offers well thought out wisdom and advice, but can also be highly critical of my behavior, assumptions and writing. On this topic, he figured the "so" meant exactly what I surmised, but just as easily dismissed. He thinks the woman who would not meet me is too familiar with my "game" about not trying or being interested in sex and isn't buying any of it. In fact, she down right doesn't trust my intentions as in "No way Jose am I going to meet you for a drink. I don't trust you." Once again, this was my 60-something Uncle's interpretation. And based upon his supposition, he also claimed my original question to be ambiguous as I did not clearly state what my "meet for a drink" intentions were. I assured him there were no "intentions" and he was wrong about the reason behind the woman not meeting me.  It's just interesting to dissect something as mundane as a simple rejection.

What makes this post even more enlightening now is the woman, in question, responded so feverishly and thankfully agreed to let me share it with all of you. And here it is:

Hey Diane Sawyer- in your "exposé" you forgot to mention I'm a busy single mom who lives in Manhattan Friggin Beach aka: Southwest Guam or approx as far. We are acquaintances, not close friends, and not dating so taking a minimum 3 hours (an hour too and from plus an hour coffee) out of my life and juggling is not an option. There are people that were at my wedding- that I did shows with- that I don't get together to meet with. I meet with a.) guys I plan on having sex with or b.) an audition or c.) a teeny circle of gays and girlfriends that I've had since my Chicago days. Exceptions for mommy friends I've known 6+ years and verrrrrrry rarely. Maybe that makes me a bitch. Or maybe just busy. But I know I'd give the shirt off my back and possibly a kidney to that tiny group so in the end....less is more. Love (for fear you read this as meaner then meant)

Ha! A simple:  "As a single mom, I'm just too busy right now to meet you to just shoot the shit. Sorry. Nothing against you." would have sufficed or to put it in Hebrew terms: Dayenu. It would have been sufficient.

In addition, my initial reaction to her explanation was..."distance and time" were never discussed, so that was all her assumptions. I later made it clear I was perfectly willing to come to her...and I already knew she was a single Mom, so I could have come down during the day while her child was still in school. Again, never discussed.  But the bottom line is...and I'm grateful to her for finally getting to the bottom line...which is, if this meeting isn't going to get her laid, paid or gayed...it ain't gonna' happen. Fair enough. I get it.

Well....in fairness, I did not provide full disclosure in my initial post. It seems as if I misled all of you (not her) into thinking I asked to meet her for a "drink"....which was not entirely untrue....the drink I suggested was "tea"...she wrote back to me that "tea was gay"....so then I told her I was just being gentlemanly, which I was, trying to assure her I had no intention other than a friendly meet up. But with her "tea is gay" comment I  came back firing and admitted I would have no problem drinking alcohol beverages with her if that's what she preferred. It is to this comment she said "I am so not having a drink with you."

With all of that now known and previously known by my friend Mark who  thinks there might be something else at play here....and for the record, I think Mark is just stoking (or is it "stroking"?) the flames...for argument sake. But here's his theory.  He says she's enjoying the attention this blog is bringing to her...and while she remains anonymous to some degree, she's at the very least amused, somewhat flattered, and even perhaps slightly turned on by me writing about her. She is, after all,...a Hollywood actress...one who seeks attention and approval for a living...so, part of his theory is plausible. Here's where he stretches. He thinks she's "testing" me to see my reaction and if I "pass" then I may potentially become the "A" in her A,B,C's of meeting up with people. I would only be willing to possibly agree with him if we were, in fact, IN Chicago, Bruce was playing, and alcohol was involved. My perfect storm and irresistible tri-fecta. The Bing-Bang-Boom if you will.

One last note...the woman requested I go ahead and post a photo of her. I did not ask why and really have no inkling as to why...other than for people to say, "Well of course, she doesn't want to meet with you,. look at her!"  Maybe she's just curious which photo of her I might select...as they're are plenty to choose from on the web.  What I did ask her was if her recommendation was sarcastic...which she quickly replied was not. 

So...here's the "so" woman for all of you to observe and do whatever else you feel may be appropriate in the privacy of wherever it is you may be. Oh...I chose 3 photos, rather than one because...well...just one could never do this fiesty Puerto Rican, Italian and Irish beauty justice. I guess I decided to find a collection that properly captures her spirited tri-heritage in all its glory...at least, the spirit which I've only known as an "acquaintance."......An outrageously charismatic, fun-loving sexual woman.

 

I got to add this last part or I wouldn't totally be candid. I'm listening to E Street Radio right now and Bruce's "I'm on Fire" is playing. Thought you all might like to know that one.  HA!