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Wednesday, October 31, 2012

My Friend The Vagina Whisperer

Every guy has that one friend who always seems to be getting laid. Whether it be via a long term relationship, a friend with benefits or a simple one night stand, women have never been particularly difficult for this guy I know. In fact, it appears so easy for this person, you wonder what he's "got" that others do not. Make no mistake, most guys sole focus in life is having when you have a friend who is an All-Star in this endeavor it's worth a closer look.

This past weekend my friend informed me he completed the Trifecta. Now you might think this would refer to three different women for each of the three weekend on Friday, one on Saturday and one on Sunday. Not so with this guy...he did it over a single 24-hour period from Sat night to Sun night. He had sex with a chick on Saturday Night, then another one Sunday morning and finally the third one on Sunday night. Impressive. I should reveal that he's leaving the country this week for a year for work and was upfront with all these women about his situation, so perhaps, that played in to his "success" rate. With that said, it was probably irrelevant  This guy is just that good..

The Saturday night hook up came through a friend of a female friend of he had not slept with.  They were all out drinking and he ended up hooking up with her after his friend went home. This girl who slept with him also asked him not tell the other girl that she slept with him...which was more than OK with my guy.  Girls revel in the sneaking around part more so than guys and I think it's cause they're so worried of being negatively judged by their female friends. Whereas a guy friend who reveals he had a one night stand to another guy would just receive a very standard "Way to go man."  On top of this girl's self perceived "bad" behavior, she made it clear to my friend she was still willing to make this a semi-regular long as he kept it quiet.

The Sunday Morning booty call came from an already regular thing...a girl he works with who's currently in a long term, no sex relationship with an out of town boyfriend. In fact, she had just flown back to town Sunday after spending the weekend with her boyfriend.  My buddy claims he would never date this one cause of all her issues (clearly), but as long as she's cool with just fucking him, he'll continue to see her. Although, while my buddy's more her "lover" than her "boyfriend" , they do hang a little bit outside the bedroom. I met them for dinner once.

The third and final hook up of the weekend came via a 2nd date with a woman he's known for years...having  met her at a previous workplace...but she had always been in serious relationships...twice engaged to different guys. She had recently broken up and texted my buddy out of the blue to "hang out". He told her upfront he was leaving this coming week for a year, but would still go out with her before he left. This turned into a real dinner date, where he picked her up and they spent the evening out. I didn't get the naked details yet other than, "Hey man I completed the "trifecta" via text.

Yes he's good looking...but not in a leading man or pretty boy type of way...he's a bit rugged....but still, overall, more regular than not. He's friendly, cool, laid back...but also not who you would necessarily refer to as " a charmer".  He's incredibly normal for as much poon as he gets, and considering he rarely hooks up with random's even more remarkable the notches in his belt usually derive from work, friends or mutual acquaintances   I asked him what he thought the reason was for his extraordinary success. Without hesitating he responded, "It's because I don't care."

Oh, he cares about getting laid...absolutely....just not about the person he's trying to have sex with. Unlike most men, he's never frustrated, nor does he "pine" over any one woman. If it happens, great. If not, next.  He's never going to let one woman affect him to the point where he cares about whether he sleeps with her or not. His portrait of women is not particularly flattering or "nice". And if women really knew how he felt about them, they'd be slapping his face more than he'd be slapping their asses. Add for the record, the woman from Saturday night took a self portrait of the smack mark bruise he left on her ass and sent it to him...thanking him for a good way...He showed me the photo and message.

When I told him I guess I let things affect me more than you and how maybe I just treat life a little more serious...he was like "C'mon, life's a game...and sex is poker. Never show your hand too soon." He was referring to being open and honest with women. His advice was to reveal only what is necessary and what works....For example...being honest about leaving for a year was okay, but telling them you want to sleep with them before leaving would be TMI...and you would lose that hand. This is where I differ from most men. I never looked as trying to have sex as a game...and the "I'll do and say whatever I have to say to get in her pants" mentality. Maybe I'm just too real, too honest, too genuine when it comes to life....and women.

Now I know what everyone is saying...Well, all women want a man to be honest in a relationship. But this is not what we're talking about here. We're talking about sex...that's it. And apparently "acting" like you don't care if you do or you don't works best. I genuinely admire my friend for his skills in the sex poker arena. However, it only reinforces my equally negative thoughts toward women that I share with my's disappointing to know women continue to reward men who don't give a shit. The difference between us is my buddy's willingness to play along. I'm not.

Monday, October 15, 2012

Sex Surrogates

The new film Sessions, starring Helen Hunt and William H. Macy, spotlights sexual surrogates. For those of you who do not know what a sex surrogate is, it is a professional therapist who treats patients with sex.  In the movie, Helen Hunt is a sex surrogate...but with a twist. Her patient is physically handicapped.  

Here's a review from Newsweek.

Now you could argue when it comes to sex, all men are somewhat physically handicapped....performance and ability...most of us have no idea what we're doing...we need help. Lots of it. So, this film got me thinking. Why shouldn't ALL MEN be allowed a sexual surrogate? And not just allowed...but the government...and covered by insurance! Before the uproar ensues, I'm going to justify my request with some well documented facts.

1.  From the time a man receives his first erection, sex is an all consuming quest. It defines us. All our efforts are designed on how best to get sex. From our job, to our clothes, to the car we drive...all meant to attract a lady in the hopes she'll one day remove her pants for us.  We don't just crave it. We need it. We need it to feel like a man. We need it to further our confidence. We need the release. Masturbation is not the only temporarily relieves. It's a quick fix.

2. Men are angry. Why?  It has very little to do with money, job, or our favorite shitty sports team. Most of are anger stems from sexual frustration. We're either not getting laid as much as we want to, or worse...not getting laid at all. This shit makes us beyond cranky. You want peace on earth? Provide a sexual surrogate to every single man.

3.  Prostitutes are not surrogates...they cost $, are not regulated....and often come from abused or drug backgrounds. They are not safe. If mental disorders can be treated by medical professionals and covered by insurance than so should sex workers...of the professional kind. ObamaCare would be a lot more popular if sex surrogates were a part of its coverage.

4.  Proper training leads to improved skills. Wouldn't all you women like better lovers? Would you rather be the one who teaches? Or would you rather a man come with all the necessary skills? I can't tell you how many times I've heard women complain about their partners love making and how unsatisfied they are with them? Pleasing a woman is not know it...we know why shouldn't there be a legal training program? We live in an advanced society....why limit this thinking to science, education and culture? Sex is just as important as anything in this world.

5. Most men will not publicly support my position. In private, 100% will agree...even the "religious" ones.

Unless your man has thrown in the white towel and shut down his sexual the tormented and the broken hearted, and those miserable men in dead end marriages...a normal man's desire for sex never fades, no matter the age. I know men in their 60's just as horny as men in their 20's....the only difference is that older men become better game managers...we're wiser....we know how to control and manipulate our carnal desires.  The widespread use of sexual surrogates can only help men...and women. 

Everyone needs therapy, particularly of the sexual variety. The use of sexual surrogates isn't simply about satisfying erotic fantasies; it's about developing a more loving, peaceful, educated society.

Sunday, October 7, 2012

Bad Girls

If you've been a bad girl, be prepared...

....the smart ones are.

And make sure you always watch "10 Reasons Why" every Monday.