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Sunday, March 31, 2013

Great Expectations

If you don't have them...why even bother?

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

My Muse

At some point in every man's life a woman inspires him. A woman who lights his fire, strokes his creative forces and burns deep within his soul. While the relationship can turn physical, the foundation is always built from the mind forward. For better or worse, this woman engulfs and transforms his thoughts. This woman becomes his Muse. 

Picasso had Dora Maar. Andy Warhol had Edie Sedgwick, who also mused several rockers. Albert Brooks looked to Sharon Stone to be his in the movie, The Muse.  In recent TV, Californication's Hank Moody has his in true love Karen. Bridgitte Bardot inspired many a man in Film, TV and the Arts.

Women affect men in ways far greater ways than women can possibly understand or imagine. And this blog is no exception. While it's true that a number of different women have directly influenced and directed my writings, there's one woman who remains clearly in front of the rest in terms of inspiration and contemplation. She inspired a poem, parts of two TV Pilots, a feature length screenplay, endless chatter, and yes, this blog. 

With the face of an angel, the body of a goddess, the heart of an Eskimo...and the soul of a fire crotch breathing dragon...originally from Chicago (a city I love), she's deeply affected me in ways no other woman has or will again. I'm a different man because of her...for better or worse. I'm still not sure. Regardless, she's served a purpose; she's been my extraordinary enlightening Muse for the last three and a half years. Not a day has gone by that I have not thought of her. I can't imagine a day where I don't think of her. I've finally come to accept what I've already known for 20 plus years: The pursuit of women for purposes of dating and loving is not healthy, for me. Hopefully, I'll spend my remaining years going after things that only make me happy and healthy.

It seems appropriate to mark my 100th blog entry with my former Muse's direct presence. As such, I am closing the book on her as my eternal enchanting, enigmatic, maddening Muse of a woman. And with that, no longer will I write any more Naked Truths. I'm all mused out. This is it. Thanks for reading and participating all that you have these last couple of years. I hope some of what you've seen here has been helpful, enjoyable and perhaps, inspiring.  May you only travel down paths that lead to fulfillment. I leave you with, what else? A quote from my one and only, bromantic Muse, Bruce Springsteen.

"Once I was your treasure, and I saw your face in every star"
Back In Your Arms (1988)

And what the hell...since this is my last might as well as have a look at the two curiously varied Bi-Polar faces of my singular most important feminine Muse, that just may have, in fact, hailed straight from the Garden of Eden. The first face below represents the woman who kissed me like my tongue was the best thing she ever put in her mouth. The second face perfectly captures the woman who acted like that kiss never happened...or mattered. In retrospect, I guess I should have paid more attention to a short film she wrote,  produced and starred in, that featured her Dad falling on a large nail that pierced his skull and killed him. 

Nevertheless, I wish you all the best, including my once, but not forgotten, Muse. L'Chiam.

Your Naked Truther

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Why Are We Still Here?

A couple of years ago I came across a website called "whyareyoustillhere" which had me immediately wondering, 'What man or men could have possibly inspired such a sensational creation?' And then I quickly realized, ME!...I was the reason this site was created. You think I'm joking, but I'm not. The site asked women to submit stories that showed men still hanging around or communicating when it was clearly "over." It appears the website has since been taken down, but nevertheless, it brings up a worthwhile discussion.

When I shared this female driven and directed site with other men they all remarked in the same way. They all questioned, Why would a woman be so disturbed by cold to angry? Is she jaded? Is she just a bitch?  How can anyone be so dismissive by someone who's offering the one thing everyone wants.

No man would ever think to produce a site like this, let alone ask the question. We know why you're still loved us. You were crazy about us. We get it. Just because we've been told you're no longer interested doesn't mean we're able to automatically turn our heart off.  Despite what you may think or what some of us have led you to believe, we're not nearly the Emotional Ninjas* you ladies are.

*Emotional Ninjas is a catch phrase conceived by Comedian Whitney Cummings, who to our knowledge, is in no way responsible for the above mentioned website, nor as of this writing, has had any relations with The Naked Truther.

I have an additional thought on the subject: A man's feelings are only as relevant as much as a woman is willing to accept them. In other words, women can only handle the emotion they're prepared for or want to receive. Disagree? Think you're capable? Ready for us now? Maybe. But more likely, you won't be ready until YOU'RE ready. And that'[s not very evolved or nurturing.

Go ahead. Take a survey. Every man thinks the above notion  is true about you. It has to be on your terms when you're ready...only then are we allowed to love you.

Now, I'll attempt to answer more specifically why we're still the most general of terms.

Men are fighters, in the sense we're raised to never give up. Especially athletes. If a man's played any kind of sports, he's competitive. Winners never quit. Defeat is not an option. Persistence counts. That last one was actually said to me by a woman. And speaking of women...I can't even begin to tell you how many times a woman has changed her mind with me...what we were going to do...or not do. Get out. No. Stay. You gotta' go. No. One more. For a guy, it's exhausting and confusing. But it also makes us think we always have a chance because we never know when you're going to change your mind....again.

And then there's these reasons.....

Because you left us with unanswered questions and still have yet to answer them.

Because we fell in love with you as soon as we met you.

Because something happened to you too....for when we asked you out the next day you said "we should "definitely go out.....not "Maybe" or "I don't even know you"....but "definitely".

Because our connection and chemistry was the kind people dream about.

Because we thought you were our dream girl.

Because we wrote a poem about you before we even went out.

Because we wanted to fly across the country to see you and take you to see our favorite band (as if I need to say the name) for our first date.

Because we would have flown around the world to take you to see yours.

Because we recorded your favorite band in concert on our DVR....and saved it for months.

Because we walked special to a corner in NYC and took a picture of a street sign that bore your last name.

Because we patiently waited 2 months to see you.

Because the shorts we wore the day we met had your last name inscribed on the inside waistline....unbeknowst to us.

Because of how you looked at us....and smiled at us.

Because you held our hand.

Because you told us you loved our laugh....and our smell....and our taste.

Because you couldn't wait to get us naked.

Because your clothes were begging to be ripped off.

Because you looked like an angel on your doorstep.

Because we met on an ominous date like 10/10/10. 11/11/11 or 12/12/12.

Because you told us we'd have plenty of practice.

Because even if you were seeing someone else, it does now affect how you make us feel.

Because the nipple never lies.

Because we told everyone we knew about you.

Because we couldn't wait to fall asleep with you....and then wake up next to you.

Because we loved how you felt in our arms.

Because you thought we were "so sexy".

Because you told us to give our Mother a kiss for you.

Because you told us you couldn't wait to see us....and then later that you needed to see us.

Because you kissed us like no one has ever kissed us before.

Because we felt your heat penetrating your jeans between your legs that first night in your bed.

Because you texted us before we even got home how incredible the night was.

Because you admitted you were holding back the second night in your bed....and this was after you had already been more turned on then any other woman we'd ever been with previous.

Because we think you're not being honest with yourself....or with others.

Because we couldn't wait to listen to you talk to us.

Because we were done with women before we met you.

Because we felt lucky.

Because you once made us happy.

Because we know you have no idea what you want....and that you don't actually have everything figured out like you told us you thought you did.

Because you were crazy and we dig that about you (Wedding Crashers reference).

Because you asked us if we were in touch with our feminine side and we still have no fucking idea what that means...why ask if you never cared about the answer?

Because you told us we make dreams come true...and we wanted to believe you.

Because what ever happened in Vegas did not stay in Vegas.

Because you turned us on more than any other women ever had.

Because you told us the sex with your previous boyfriend(s) was terrible.

Because we're crazy....hopeless...and romantic.

Because we'd wait forever for you...because we already had been waiting forever to meet someone like you.

Because we think with our heart and our head.

Because you said you were a talker and not a texter.

Because love is's crazy, it's stupid, it's intoxicating....and it affects us all differently.

Because you said a lot of things that's left us wondering what was real and what was not.

And finally....because no matter how much of us grows to loathe you and your chilling, callous indifference...and how you chose to be with someone else who took God knows how long to tell you that he wanted to be serious, and then you end up actually rewarding him for acting like he didn't give a shit for as long as he did....couple with the possibility you may in fact suffer from a serious bi-polar illness.....even with all that knowledge......a small part of us....will...still, always love you.

That's the reason why we're still here.

Sunday, March 10, 2013

The 7 Deadly Sins - #PRIDE

Pride is recognized as the most deadliest of all sins. Why? Because it has to do with an over infatuation with yourself. And in the story of Lucifer, who was so in love with himself, he thought he could compete with God, ultimately failing and falling from Heaven, which lead to his transformation to Satan.

I've heard plenty of people say that you can't love someone else if you don't love yourself first. Making yourself more important than another is something that masters pride, but fails at love. Loving yourself in such a way breeds selfishness, disregard for others and a supreme confidence that makes you feel better than everyone else. Newsflash. You're not. Sure you may be a wonderful person, but to think you're so much more wonderful than the person beside you breeds pure evil.

Humility, the counter virtue to Pride, is what you need. Not that you should think any less of yourself, just that you think of yourself less. Removes the focus from you. I always found women who treat men poorly tend to be the most selfish, narcissistic ones. 

It's time for a self examination. Be faithful to promises. And offer more credit to those who deserve it.  Love yourself all you want, but not at the expense of others. You're never as important or as wonderful as you think you are.

Saturday, March 9, 2013

The 7 Deadly Sins - #6 ENVY

Envy is characterized by an insatiable desire. And while it's similar to jealousy it goes beyond simply feeling discontent to someone else's traits, attributes or fortunes. The envious desire and covet what others have. It directly relates to one of the 10 Commandments, "Neither shall you desire anything that belongs to your neighbor."

When it comes to envious women, one of the man codes is to never mess with your boy's girl. You just don't go there. Yet, I hear stories all the time of women sleeping with their girl friend's guys. What cause this action?  foremost, a lack of respect for your friend.  However, more than anything else, envy is the root of this sin.

Envy vexes me because I could never understand why someone would see someone else's happiness and try to selfishly sabotage it for their own pleasure. Being jealous is a factor of not being happy with yourself, but being envious is behaving without a soul.

Men will consistently tell you that when they approach a group of 3 girls...there's always one in that group that wants to leave or will "cock block" the guys from getting anywhere with their girlfriends. That girl is an envious c-u-next-Tuesday. Don't be that girl.

It's no surprise that the counter Virtue for Envy is Kindness.  Warmth, generosity and love for another do not exist in a person with envy. The kinder you are, the more you hope for someone else's happiness.  Instead of competing with your fellow females for a boy's attention why not...I don't them achieve what they desire. What comes around, goes around.

Thursday, March 7, 2013

The 7 Deadly Sins - #5 Wrath

Rage. Anger. Hatred. Whatever the cause of such an outbreak of this negative and nasty disposition is not nearly as critical as what to do about all this built up resentment and frustration?

Thornton Mellon had the answer: Do not go gentile into that good night. And don't take shit from no one...especially from the opposite sex.  For purposes of this blog I'm going to reserve all these emotions that compose "Wrath"  for our feelings toward, well, the opposite sex. If only they were as easy to dismiss as Rodney barks in this infamous scene in his 80's classic film "Back to School." It's something I struggle with on a daily basis. At times, I've tried to redirect my wrath and use it as motivation to be a better person, more successful, find things that will allow me to smile, rather than frown. None of this really seems to work. 

A more useful tool may be to look at the Virtue for Wrath which is "Patience". And forgiveness. If you can learn to forgive whoever made you angry that's a peaceful step in the right direction.  Until you manage to justify and accept whatever brought wrath on, you will never be able to move past it.

I'm hopeful that one day my internal anger I still feel toward some females whose behaviors deeply affected me will eventually pass. Remember, this too shall pass, eventually. Patience and forgiveness are the two most important paths to inner peace. That, and reminding myself "not to take shit from no one."

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

The 7 Deadly Sins - #4 Greed

Ah yes, Greed.  Michael Douglas as the great Gordon Gecko made it infamous with his "Wall Street" movie speech, proclaiming it "good", for lack of a better word. Like "lust" and "gluttony" greed is also a sin of excess,  most commonly referring to the excessive pursuit of material possessions. Although, it can also mean in more general terms, pursuing or acquiring more than one needs.

So how exactly does greed invoke itself into dating? Like any other pursuit...not being satisfied or content with what you have. Always looking for what we men call women out for: the "BBD"....the Bigger Better Deal. Because we seldom find women to know what they want, we believe their eyes to always be on the hunt for the next best thing. Now, I understand how women too think this way about a man's wandering eye. So, let me put it another way.

When men pursue and engage women we basically look for two very simple things. Are we attracted to you? And when we see you, or think of you, do you make us smile? That's it. If the answer is a solid "yes" to both those questions, we're content...and satisfied. We don't need anymore. For to need, and expect more, would be....for lack of a better word...greedy. While our simplicity at times is mocked for being underdeveloped or neanderthal like, it should be more celebrated and appreciated. Greed may be good in capitalistic endeavors; but when it comes to matters of the heart, it's pure evil.

With women it all starts with your "lists".  My best advice is to shorten them, immediately.  As you get older you realize what use to seem so important and a "deal breaker" doesn't nearly matter so much. You will never find happiness with a man if you can't be happy with the simplest traits so prolific in us men.

The heavenly virtue associated with Greed is Charity. Not in the sense of financial giving, but the benevolent giving of kindness and love to others. The less you demand...and need...the more you're able to offer and in turn, accept. This kind of love resides in your will, not in your emotions. Love thy neighbor just as you might love God. If you can be this virtuous, then whatever someone can give you will always be enough. Appreciate what you have...and not what you don't. "More" will cease to exist and thus, you will find yourself further down the path to happiness.

Monday, March 4, 2013

The 7 Deadly Sins - #3 Sloth's as ugly as it sounds. It's often defined as physical and spiritual laziness. Not doing the things one should do. To take it even further, ignoring or failing to uses one's talents or gifts. Being a virtually waste.

First the physical. No excuse not to exercise or go to the gym or take an aerobics class. Whatever. If you put on weight easily, watch what you eat. Work out! Not doing either is just pure laziness. Show some discipline and self-respect.

Now the spiritual. Recognize and appreciate your purpose or your personal strengths. Not to be crude, but if you give amazing blow jobs...then don't be shy with sharing that talent with the world. But more than any sexual proficiency you may possess, work on your moral fiber. 

No more delaying what you know is right or what you should be doing with your life. I don't care how hard it may be for you or what you think others might say, just do it already! Women are so focused on the concept of time and timing, sometimes they lose sight of what they actually could be doing with their time. Your time is too valuable to be "waiting" or making excuses. Once you've figured out what you want (sadly, many women never do) fucking go after it!  Enough with being a Sloth.

The heavenly virtue to counter Sloth is Diligence. 

Be diligent with your life. It's a virtue of hard work and the goodness that goes with it. Don't wait on others. Be proactive. Be productive. Work to improve yourself like it matters. Not giving a shit about something or someone is just a lazy, sloth like cop out. You should work harder to care more. Even if you can't make a difference in your life, you may just cause a positive change in someone else's.

Sunday, March 3, 2013

The 7 Deadly Sins - #2 Gluttony

In my continuing look at the 7 Deadly Sins, next up is Gluttony. To gulp down, over indulge, over consume.  You might say when it comes to sex all men are gluttonous. Ha. However, gluttony can further be interpreted as selfishness...which is one of many favorite topics to discuss when it comes to men and women.

One of the single worst attributes a person can have is selfishness. All this talk about self improvement and focusing on your needs makes the world great for you...because you've now made it revolve around you.  It's all about you. Go ahead focus on yourself.  See what happens to the love you attract...and give.  When it comes to relationships, if you put your needs ahead of your partners you will never experience true love. The nature of love is the absence of selfishness. It's also a "golden rule". Do unto others...

The corresponding Virtue is Temperance. Restraint, Justice, Mindful of others. In other words, it's a proper moderation between self-interest and the surrounding public's. Always be aware of how your actions and thoughts affect others. That is the key to a more peaceful, harmonious and loving world. 

Don't just be in it for your personal satisfaction or gratification. The world you live in is not only about you. In fact, it's probably least of all about YOU. Make more time for others. Not less. If someone calls or messages you, answer them. Respect yourself by respecting others first. Stop being so "gluttonous". It's deadly.

Friday, March 1, 2013

Follow Me

Photographer Murad Osmann has a released a series of striking photographs with his girlfriend from around the world. They're all identically shot from his point of view of her leading him.

My first thought was "Damn...that dude's got some hairy arms." OK, maybe that was my second thought. Back in the day, a sexy picture of a pretty woman from behind like the one above might have sent me straight into a self indulged lust fest, requiring a completion of tawdry proportions.  However, my strong willed mind of today leaves me comfortably relaxed, free and clear to intellectually evaluate what's really going on these images.

The guy is allowing the woman to be in charge. While some woman seek submission, most enjoy the pleasures of taking control, to a point. Not only in terms of where they may go next, but...well...quite frankly...the terms, as in, how they're going to get there. Men know this...and since we're ALWAYS working to turn you on, because God only knows what does....we'll do just about anything that brings sex to the forefront of your mind. All women have a personal point where they're willing to give up their control when it comes to foreplay and sex...and turn it over to the man. And it's usually up to the man to find it.

Now, with a body like that, I can totally understand why this guy wishes to photograph his lady in such a....forward position. She's not only the object of his desire, but I'm sure of many others.  When a guy likes a girl he wants to capture her in all means possible. Whether to photograph her, write about her, paint her....anything that showcases her in his light is something we desire. It's always struck me as strange that women do not garner the same reaction to men....Are we any less desirable? Or do women not see us as in an art form?  You never see women taking photos of their boyfriends or other men.  The real question here is: How willing of a subject was she?

According to the article...the project came about because the guy was stopping too frequently to snap photos and his girl reached to grab his hand to "keep going". When he snapped a couple of pictures of her pulling him away, he decided to keep up with the idea of photographing intentionally. And I'm also certain it took some convincing on his part to get her to turn into a willing participation. No women says Yes to anything with any ease.  Most ideas we men have that involve women tend to be frowned up as either "silly" or "juvenile".  No matter how old, or how mature we may appear, we are all little boys at heart.

So, yes, this is partly a photographic accident that became a collection of photographic art...but mostly, it's a playful game of sexual desires and conquests. At least that's how the average man will see it. I do wonder what the ladies think?