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Tuesday, January 29, 2013

The John Stamos Guide to Cuddling

Since my cuddling blog from a few weeks ago proved to be popular I thought I'd share this "how to"  I came across courtesy of John Stamos.  Enjoy.

Thursday, January 24, 2013

Free Your Mind, Free Your Puswah

I got into a rather heated discussion with a married female friend of mine about the difficulty of a female orgasm. It's OK. We have that kind of platonic relationship where we can discuss such things.

Our candid conversation (you don't think I have any other kind?) specifically centered around "faking it."  With all due respect to Elaine Benes and Meg Ryan, men neither appreciate the theatrics, nor want a woman to misrepresent.  As a valuable rule of thumb moving forward ladies, if you're willing to get naked with us, then you need to be just as willing to get real with us.

When it comes to performance, men always want the truth. Always. If you tell us we're not getting the job done, more than likely, if we care about you at all, we're going to want to know. We want to please you and complete the mission. After all, we want a second...and third helping. 

Every woman requires a different operating manual. Like Jerry McGuire said. Help me, help you!  Tell me what you need from me, what we need to do, what we don't need to do. Men are fixers and problem solvers. More than anything in this world, we want to be counted on to get the job done. Trust that.

My friend said part of the reason for her lack of honesty at times was because she never wanted to see the person again. Come again? Why would you get naked in the first place if you had no intention of seeing him again? And if the only reason you don't want to see him again is because he sucked...well then there must have been enough good things about him to get you into this position in the first place...which begs the question. Why wouldn't you want to guide him to the finish line?  I guarantee you all men who get naked intend to finish.  Unless of course, he's just so so beyond help, there's no training the poor boy.  Just know that practice makes perfect...for the most part, great lovers are made, not born. 

But I digress. Back to the faking it part. Yes. We have fragile egos. Yes. We are way more sensitive than you ever imagined us to be. However, and I cannot stress this enough....if you think we just flat out suck...tell us! And please tell us why. We'll never get any better if we don't know what we're doing wrong!

Now...we also understand there's another possible reason for you to fake it. And this one's going to sting a bit, so I'll just come out and say it as simply as I can.

It's not us. It's YOU.

Most men can cum at the drop of the first nipple. Women...not so much. You people are like trying to put together an all night jigsaw puzzle. Time, patience, attention to telling how long we could be here until you finish. 

One thing my friend unequivocally agreed upon was she needed to be relaxed to orgasm. Hallelujah! We got something to go with.

I cannot stress enough how important it is for you to just relax...not only in your private area...but in you're mind. Mostly your mind. Even the woman who shredded my heart and aborted her pending orgasm with me admitted that a female orgasm takes an emotional trigger. It's kind of amusing to me how women everywhere can't wait to have an natural orgasm, and this particular one chose to completely shut herself down in my presence for reasons that will continue to remain unclear...aside from the fact...her orgasm may have been "cheating" to her. Nevertheless, that's her fucked up problem.....Back to you and your issues.

Free your mind. Free your Puswah. really can be that easy. 

In other words. Stop sabotaging your orgasm! Don't believe me? Let's ask Dr. Ruth.

CONTROL is not your friend when you want to cum. Let yourself go. Stop trying to control everything. The very nature of an orgasm is losing control! Why do you think men try so hard not to cum?! We're doing everything in our power to try to control ourselves in the face of your breathtaking beauty. 

I know you're still not convinced. It's more complicated than that, right? Everything is complicated with women.  Maybe we should leave the male species on this one and ask one of your own. 

Dr. Ruth please enlighten these ladies once more. *But only pay attention to the first part. I disagree with the 2nd part. If you need an "outside" force to get you aroused then you're with the wrong guy.

After you open your va-jayjay, open your mind....and, if need be, your mouth...and  your orgasm will follow.  Free your Puswah today!
As always comments and questions are appreciated.
Twitter:  @thenakedtruther

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Be True to Thy Self

I've spent a lot of time writing about how men think and what we want from women. I'm going to change direction here and offer some advice which I think applies to all of us, but particularly women. 

Ask any man what a woman wants and he has no idea....ask a woman and her answer might depend on the time of day or the brightness of the moon or, of course, that time of the month. When it comes to dating and loving men figure out what's most important to you. Is it a smile on your face, financial security, laughter, abnormally large male genitalia? Whatever  makes you happiest, that's what, and who you should focus on.

Now, knowing exactly what makes you happy takes some inward thought and self awareness.  Enlighten thyself. This requires purity, honesty and courage. You must be true to your heart. You can't live your life worrying what you should be doing, or who you should be doing, or who "they" think you should be doing.  Spend less time questioning yourself and start trusting your feelings more. Forget about men for a second.  What do you need?

Once you learn to ignore the outside noise and listen to your heart, you'll find it much easier to find the "right" guy for you.

Friday, January 18, 2013

The Look

The look is perhaps my favorite "thing" when it comes to women. It's impact is immeasurable and can never happen often enough . Look at him just right and he'll love you forever.

I pulled some of my favorite "fictional" looks, which is appropriate because "the look" can only  be properly described as something out of a fairytale. These images also prove "the look" can be faked...even as it feels and looks so real. Some women can be exceptional actresses when they want to be.

In a previous blog entry I quoted a classic Springsteen lyric, "I want to know if love is real" from the song, Born to Run. I know one thing, if the the look is real, then so is the love. How do I know?


 Frankie and Johnny

 Penny Lane is in my ears...

 One Fine Day're gonna want me for your girl

 I'm not asking you to marry me, 
I'm just asking you not to marry him

 I believe we have two lives:
 the one we learn with
 and the one we live with after that

 For me the sun rises and sets with her, man

 There's always another a girl.
So, did you find another girl?
I didn't look.

"Well, I believe in 
the soul, the cock, the pussy, 
the small of a woman's back,
the hanging curve ball, 
high fiber, good scotch,
that the novels of Susan Sontag
are self-indulgent, overrated crap.
 I believe 
Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone.
I believe
 there ought to be
a constitutional amendment
outlawing Astroturf
and the designated hitter.
I believe in the sweet spot, 
soft-core pornography, 
opening your presents
Christmas morning
rather than Christmas Eve
 and I believe in
wet kisses
last three days."  
OH MY...

 And everyone knows that 
hate is not the opposite of love.
Indifference is.
Well, whatever you say. 
I really don't care.

 Well, if we're meant to meet again, 
then we'll meet again. 
It's just not the right time now. 
Maybe we're supposed to meet on British time
 and we're 5 hours early right now.

 I never gave you the book because
 it was the only thing I had left of you. 

You complete me.
You had me at Hello.

 This could get complicated.

Love me
That's my robe

 There is no life without love. 
worth having anyway.

 I don't know - you meet thousands of people
and none of them really touch you. 
And then you meet one person
 and your life is changed forever.

 It was always you...

 Women weaken legs!

 Don't cry little shop girl

I came here tonight because 
when you realize you want to spend
the rest of your life with somebody, 
you want the rest of your life
to start as soon as possible

 I know you have trouble dealing with a woman
 in a position of authority. 

Whoa, wait a minute.

I resent that.
I've never had trouble with a woman
 in ANY position. 

Yes, Shrek?
I...I love you.
Really, really!
Mmmmm....I love you too.

We can stay up late swapping manly stories,
and in the morning I'm making waffles.


 With her killer graces
And her secret places

That no boy can fill

With her hands on her hips

Oh and that smile on her lips

Because she knows that it kills me

With her soft French cream
Standing in that doorway like a dream
I wish she'd just leave me alone
Because French cream won't soften them boots
And French kisses will not break that heart of stone
With her long hair falling
And her eyes that shine like a midnight sun
Oh she's the one
She's the one

That thunder in your heart
At night when you're kneeling in the dark
It says you're never gonna leave her 
But there's this angel in her eyes
That tells such desperate lies
And all you want to do is believe her
And tonight you'll try 
Just one more time
To leave it all behind
And to break on through
Oh she can take you
But if she wants to break you
She's gonna find out that ain't so easy to do
And no matte where you sleep
Tonight or how far you run
Oh she's the one
She's the one

Oh and just one kiss
She'd fill them long summer nights
With her tenderness
That secret pact you made
Back when her love could save you
From the bitterness
Oh she's the one
Oh she's the one
Oh she's the one
Oh she's the one

As always, 
your comments are welcomed at
 or via Twitter

Thursday, January 17, 2013

Katherine Webb

For those of you who don't know who "Katherine Webb" is she's the reigning Miss Alabama who rose to national prominence after TV announcer Brent Musberger gushed over her during the BCS National Championship Football game on ESPN between Alabama and Notre Dame. And with all due respect to the 73 yr old Musberger, "gushed" is putting it mildly.

Katherine also happens to be the current girl friend of Alabama QB AJ McCarron, which is how she ended up on TV to begin with. Here's a shot of her from the game...more than likely cheering for her "man."

The reason I bring her up is not to prove the point that a beautiful woman can so easily and quickly raise the interest of men everywhere...some 271,000 plus instant twitter followers can attest to that...but rather to make another curious observation.

Despite her new found fame and media frenzy that now surrounds her...Sports Illustrated even asked her, at the last minute, to appear in their annual upcoming Swimsuit issue and Inside Edition hired to be a correspondent during Super Bowl week....she publicly remains committed to her relationship with AJ. Although they've only been dating a month and actually met on Twitter, she's claimed in numerous interviews that her relationship is priority number one and she will not do anything to jeopardize it. This declaration comes after AJ has publicly stated he's not thrilled with his girlfriend's attention and new found celebrity status. You see...according to Katherine, AJ prefers to stay at home and curl up on the couch...which is just fine with her. 

So my point....

I am shocked to hear a modern woman stand by her man with such loyalty and conviction, especially if it means sacrificing her own career. She's shouting to anyone who will listen that, for her, love comes first in her life. I've never heard a woman of today (as in a woman not of my Mother's generation) say love matters above all else. It's remarkable and refreshing.

Now, the cynic in me sees mucho trouble on the horizon for the infamous couple. Forget the fact that Katherine is actually an Auburn about the outward cries of jealousy and strong arm control exhibited by AJ toward his girl and her pursuits? Seems all too typical for an elite, spoiled and coddled athlete such as himself. Just ask Miss Rosa Blasi about dating professional and semi-pro athletes...or just read her book, Jock Itch: The Misadventures of a Retired Jersey Chaser

If we're to take Miss Webb at her word, my question is, how could she possibly want to be with someone who isn't 100% supportive and happy for her professional success? An elite level athlete like AJ needs and expects the focus to always be on him. The irony is that AJ's the only reason she's got 271,000 new followers, and despite the fact that he "made her", no one cares about him anymore!

Good luck Katherine. Hope it works out for you....just when it doesn't, don't expect any sympathy from this guy....or any guy for that matter.

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Being "Too Busy"

This expression is tossed around quite a bit in the real world. We're all busy...well....most of us anyway. My schedule's pretty free. At any rate, when it comes to dating, woman need to understand that no man is ever "too busy" for a piece of pussy....especially, if he's in love with it.

Being "too busy" is the oldest excuse in the book. While both men and women use it all the time, I've never known a guy who wouldn't make the time to see a woman he likes. In fact, he'll do everything and anything to make the necessary time for her. No schedule is too full to indulge in a slice of his favorite pie.

On the other hand, I've known plenty of women who treat a man they're "seeing" as someone they need to squeeze into their day planner.  No man wishes to feel like they're a line item appointment in her "busy"day book....unless they're penciled in for a "Nooner."  That was a joke....maybe.

Busy is a state of mind. Not a state of being.  How can you be "too busy" to smile? Or to laugh? Or to feel "good?" ....all of which can be delivered from seeing someone else.  The answer is you're not. Unless of course you're a narcissist, then you're able to receive all of those pleasantries from yourself. You alone is all you need to be happy, right?  Which then begs the following question, Are people who are too busy to see you, in fact, narcissists?

Well...not necessarily...they may just not like all. You may make them feel lousy, so why would they want to see you?  At least when it comes to men, any man who's "too busy" to meet you definitely does not think too much of you.

I've often wondered how "busy" women date at all. They seem so wrapped up in their world and their issues how could they possibly share themselves with someone else? Perhaps focus is a better descriptor. Woman have the innate ability to hyper focus on whatever task or project is at hand and not allow any distraction by way of a man to interfere. On the other hand, men are so distracted by women...that everything else takes a distant back seat. Take for instance George and Jerry.

Men are incredibly focused on all times....especially when it comes to cleavage in the area. Whereas, the perception most men maintain is that woman spend a considerable amount of time focusing on themselves, completely ambivalent and unaware to any man within their narrow line of sight. 

In a metaphysical enlightened sense, women are the object of all our desires. And no one's ever too busy for a little enlightenment.

Monday, January 14, 2013

Ambiguous Communication

If you're at all a  regular reader of this blog then you know one of the things I probably stress above all else is proper communication. And perhaps, the only thing more frustrating than a lack of communication is ambiguous communication.

Properly communicating does not mean we should be left to figure out what something means or what you "really meant to say." Out with it. Be open. Be more honest.

Recently I exchanged a series of emails with a female reader of the blog who I've only met in person a couple of times. She claims to be a "big fan" of the writing and has even been the source of one particular entry. The precise one is irrelevant for this discussion. I'll respectfully keep her musings confidential. So I casually mentioned in one of our emails about meeting up for a drink because I had some personal questions to ask her and I thought it might be fun to just shoot the shit with her. She replied with the most curious of answers.

"I am so not meeting you for a drink."

Now...if she had just said, "I don't think it's a good idea we meet in person because...." well, then there would be no reason to write this entry, would there?  So...I guess I should thank her for providing me with another topic.  I guess what intrigues the most about the rejection is the "so" part of it. For the record, I was not trying to "hook up" with this person...that's not my MO. Maybe she thought it was and maybe she never even thought it at all....but adding the "so" to the "not meeting" me part is rather striking.  What did she think could come from an in-person encounter? Was she worried she may become attracted to me? Was she worried because she's familiar from reading what transpires from "casual" encounters with women from Chicago?. Yeah...she's a Chicago that certainly makes me think twice....but again...this is more about what she's thinking....not me.....and of course, I have no idea what she's really thinking because of her failure to properly communicate.

So, I'm left with the proverbial bottom line. She doesn't want to meet up with me. Period. Whatever her reason is for not wanting to shouldn't matter. Right? Isn't that the point when you ignore someone or reject someone? Who cares why? The only thing that matters is the end result. Well, I'm not okay with it. And never have been. I think too many people, men and women, too easily brush the "why" aside in favor of the bottom line. The same reasoning is often used in sports, Winning is the only thing that matters. I disagree. How you win and how you act after you've won are every bit as important as how you got there.

We can't evolve and we certainly can't learn without understanding the cause AND the effect. It's just like when you break up with someone. Tell me why! I can get over it or adjust my future behavior if I know why.

In all fairness to this woman, she owes me nothing; certainly not an explanation or justification. All I'm saying is, that it would be nice to have one. If only for human decency. Then again, maybe that's too much to ask in this bitter world we now seem to live in. Not enough people care what others think. We should matter more to one another, shouldn't we?



So, it's not often I continue the discussion of an entry once it's posted. However, this particular one received some immediate feedback worth sharing.

Here's some comments from a female friend who reads all of the blog's entries:
Wow, another interesting topic!
I was glad to hear from your last that you are not giving up on love!
My point of view is that a lot of woman are not very good at being that open
when it comes to communicating. Females have a way of communicating that 
often is not open and direct enough for men to understand. What is interesting
we as communicate to other women, we don't have to be very direct. We seem to 
connect the lines without it being completely spelled out. I think we often forget
that we need to use and different method when talking to a guy. Thanks for the 
reminder. I'm sure it must seem that we want you guys to be mind readers.
It's kind of the way we are built…It has taken me a while to figure this out…
And you really have to be careful of those Chicago woman...
As a matter of relevance, this woman from above also happens to be yet another "Chicago" woman. I'm sure it's difficult to believe at this point, but honestly, I do not go around seeking Chicago women. If only it were that easy.

Another dedicated reader is my Uncle who not only offers well thought out wisdom and advice, but can also be highly critical of my behavior, assumptions and writing. On this topic, he figured the "so" meant exactly what I surmised, but just as easily dismissed. He thinks the woman who would not meet me is too familiar with my "game" about not trying or being interested in sex and isn't buying any of it. In fact, she down right doesn't trust my intentions as in "No way Jose am I going to meet you for a drink. I don't trust you." Once again, this was my 60-something Uncle's interpretation. And based upon his supposition, he also claimed my original question to be ambiguous as I did not clearly state what my "meet for a drink" intentions were. I assured him there were no "intentions" and he was wrong about the reason behind the woman not meeting me.  It's just interesting to dissect something as mundane as a simple rejection.

What makes this post even more enlightening now is the woman, in question, responded so feverishly and thankfully agreed to let me share it with all of you. And here it is:

Hey Diane Sawyer- in your "exposé" you forgot to mention I'm a busy single mom who lives in Manhattan Friggin Beach aka: Southwest Guam or approx as far. We are acquaintances, not close friends, and not dating so taking a minimum 3 hours (an hour too and from plus an hour coffee) out of my life and juggling is not an option. There are people that were at my wedding- that I did shows with- that I don't get together to meet with. I meet with a.) guys I plan on having sex with or b.) an audition or c.) a teeny circle of gays and girlfriends that I've had since my Chicago days. Exceptions for mommy friends I've known 6+ years and verrrrrrry rarely. Maybe that makes me a bitch. Or maybe just busy. But I know I'd give the shirt off my back and possibly a kidney to that tiny group so in the end....less is more. Love (for fear you read this as meaner then meant)

Ha! A simple:  "As a single mom, I'm just too busy right now to meet you to just shoot the shit. Sorry. Nothing against you." would have sufficed or to put it in Hebrew terms: Dayenu. It would have been sufficient.

In addition, my initial reaction to her explanation was..."distance and time" were never discussed, so that was all her assumptions. I later made it clear I was perfectly willing to come to her...and I already knew she was a single Mom, so I could have come down during the day while her child was still in school. Again, never discussed.  But the bottom line is...and I'm grateful to her for finally getting to the bottom line...which is, if this meeting isn't going to get her laid, paid or ain't gonna' happen. Fair enough. I get it. fairness, I did not provide full disclosure in my initial post. It seems as if I misled all of you (not her) into thinking I asked to meet her for a "drink"....which was not entirely untrue....the drink I suggested was "tea"...she wrote back to me that "tea was gay" then I told her I was just being gentlemanly, which I was, trying to assure her I had no intention other than a friendly meet up. But with her "tea is gay" comment I  came back firing and admitted I would have no problem drinking alcohol beverages with her if that's what she preferred. It is to this comment she said "I am so not having a drink with you."

With all of that now known and previously known by my friend Mark who  thinks there might be something else at play here....and for the record, I think Mark is just stoking (or is it "stroking"?) the flames...for argument sake. But here's his theory.  He says she's enjoying the attention this blog is bringing to her...and while she remains anonymous to some degree, she's at the very least amused, somewhat flattered, and even perhaps slightly turned on by me writing about her. She is, after all,...a Hollywood who seeks attention and approval for a, part of his theory is plausible. Here's where he stretches. He thinks she's "testing" me to see my reaction and if I "pass" then I may potentially become the "A" in her A,B,C's of meeting up with people. I would only be willing to possibly agree with him if we were, in fact, IN Chicago, Bruce was playing, and alcohol was involved. My perfect storm and irresistible tri-fecta. The Bing-Bang-Boom if you will.

One last note...the woman requested I go ahead and post a photo of her. I did not ask why and really have no inkling as to why...other than for people to say, "Well of course, she doesn't want to meet with you,. look at her!"  Maybe she's just curious which photo of her I might they're are plenty to choose from on the web.  What I did ask her was if her recommendation was sarcastic...which she quickly replied was not.'s the "so" woman for all of you to observe and do whatever else you feel may be appropriate in the privacy of wherever it is you may be. Oh...I chose 3 photos, rather than one because...well...just one could never do this fiesty Puerto Rican, Italian and Irish beauty justice. I guess I decided to find a collection that properly captures her spirited tri-heritage in all its least, the spirit which I've only known as an "acquaintance."......An outrageously charismatic, fun-loving sexual woman.

I got to add this last part or I wouldn't totally be candid. I'm listening to E Street Radio right now and Bruce's "I'm on Fire" is playing. Thought you all might like to know that one.  HA!

Friday, January 11, 2013


So my last three entries have been about kissing, cuddling and dating...I guess to complete the "ing" series I should discuss loving.

I attended this  Zen Buddhist conversation tonight with Bernie Glassman and Jeff Bridges.

Yes. The actor Jeff Bridges...who's out promoting a new book called The Dude and the Zen Master. Seems Jeff's character that he played in the cult classic film The Big Lebowski became an actual inspiration for him to pursue a more Dude-like lifestyle...and in turn, he found some peace and love through Buddhism. His discovery also led him to the relationship with the masterful Jewish Buddha, Bernie Glassman, with whom he write the book.

I'm familiar with the basics of Buddhism, but never realized, until tonight, that love and loving is at its center. In part of their discussion, Bernie mentioned the "rug" from Lebowski...the rug that tied the Dude's room together. Here's a clip.

Bernie pointed out the rug is a symbol for love. Love is at the heart of the film, and, in the end, is what ties the Dude's and everyone else's life together. Without love we are incomplete. Our life is not full. And the more love, the more we share and the more we offer others, the better our life becomes, and the better the world around us becomes.

And that's also the essence of this blog.  It's in my description along the header. 

"An open and honest hetero man offering bold advice for LOVING and dating heterosexual men."

While it's my intention to help women better understand and love the men they date and make this a more loving world, I've personally struggled with loving women and vice versa. Not that I haven't loved or been loved, but I've been left...I won't say unsatisfied...rather...unfulfilled....and to a larger extent, experienced a little too much unrequited love for one lifetime.

Too often I've wanted to love someone, but they would not allow me the opportunity...or, on the occasions when they did allow it, it was as fleeting as a kiss or sometimes only stretching a week, or on the rarest of times, lasting but a few months. I've never experienced anything substantial or meaningful when it comes to dating. This emptiness in my life has often left me bitter, extremely frustrated, and often, angry. I've never quite been able to manage the rejection or loving I've lost out on.

Until tonight, I wasn't exactly sure what to do about it. For much of my life and especially the last 3 plus years I've been at a complete loss.  I've talked in depth to friends, family and therapists...but, no matter how much advice I receive, ultimately it comes down to me, and what I can do by myself. The only real solution is to try and love more......hate less, get rid of the anger...and turn my bitterness around. So, I know what I have to do. The question is, how?

On the way home I happened to listen to Born to Run playing on E Street Radio. One of the best lines from the song is "I want to know if love is real."  Throughout his career Springsteen spends a great deal of time singing about chasing and finding love. It's these thoughts that make him so endearing to the both the men and  the women who so passionately follow him. Bruce understands our struggles, our hopes, our dreams. He's able to simply connect in ways many artists cannot. The essence of  The Boss's greatest song is exactly what's exemplified by The Dude's most prized possession. "Born to Run" could just as easily be called "Born to Love"...for, like the rug, the song ties everything together.

Wendy let me in I wanna be your friend
I want to guard your dreams and visions
Just wrap your legs round these velvet rims
And strap your hands across my engines
Together we could break this trap
We'll run till we drop, baby we'll never go back
Will you walk with me out on the wire
`cause baby I'm just a scared and lonely rider
But I gotta find out how it feels
I want to know if love is wild, girl I want to know if love is real.

Neither Bruce nor Bridges claim loving to be easy.....instead, what they say, is that it's just something you should never stop the is the answer.

Sunday, January 6, 2013


When it comes to dating I often wonder: Why, what's the point? Especially with the disengaged state I'm currently in, I think about dating, or more accurately, not dating, more and more. Maybe it's just me, but I'm incredibly curious as to why men date at all. From a guy's perspective, it takes a tremendous of effort, time and money. So why do we even bother?

Well, the most obvious reason guys date is for sex. Any sex at all will do thank you very much...And if we're thinking of possibly progressing into a serious relationship we're really thinking how this is hopefully going to lead to "regular sex."  Unlike women who can pretty much just walk up to a guy at any moment in any setting and say they want to have with sex with him, a guy must do some obligatory flirting, wining, dining, texting, sexting, not calling, acting not interested, etc. just to get the panties off.  Even if we're talking about a 1-night stand, it's incredibly rare for a man to meet a woman and instantly get her to take her clothes off. While I miraculously managed to do it in under an hour one late night/early morning in NYC several years ago; I'm pretty sure if the woman I hooked up with had said to me then, "Let's go" within the first 5 minutes, I would have gone home with her right away.....I would have just ordered my pizza slice to go.

The next most likely reason for guys dating is for companionship. Although, I tend to think this reason has more to do with a fear of being alone, than actually seeking the company of a woman. And this is not meant as any sort of disrespect to woman;  but rather, I know guys have no problems hanging with "the guys"   all the time, whether it be while watching TV, going out to eat, drinking, sports, whatever. Guys can always bond with other guys. Whereas, many women I know openly express a disdain for female friends and like to admit they are a "guy's girl" and have always had more guy friends in their life. So, if we're strictly talking "companionship", all guys would be gay.

I know certain guys that bounce from one long term relationship to another without any real commitment to the person they're dating simply because they're terrified to be alone. Now, they wouldn't necessarily openly admit this to be the case, but based on the way they behave when they're in the relationship there's not another likely explanation.  To add fuel to this theory, they often ask me, "Don't you worry about being alone the rest of your life?"  I realize a lot of women think in a similar context and the idea of not having someone "special" in your life can, naturally, be a bit unsettling.  However, with regard to the idea of "companionship" as a reason to date, I'm not sure you'd want to be with someone who seeks it. This person is more about their own level of comfort than yours.

From a male's perspective another reason to date is to find someone to mother them. Not entirely a conscious decision, but many guys seek a woman who can take the place of their mother. Plenty of these guys exist that can't possibly take care of themselves without the proper care and nurturing a woman can provide. From cooking to cleaning to laundry to making decisions, these guys always depended on their mother, and so instinctively, they look for a woman who can satisfy these needs.  

I was recently laid up with a bad back, barely able to move; and if it were not for the aid of a female friend, I don't know what I would have done. In this particular case, yes I needed her tremendously to "mommy" me. I doubt any guy I know would have easily and as generously assisted me as she did. And I'm forever grateful to her. However, this still would not be enough of a reason I would date someone...just to be able to take care of me in case of emergency. Again...a very good friend can fill this don't need to date to develop loving and trusting relationships.

A 4th reason to date may very well be for family. While women tend to be stereotyped as the ones who want to start a family and must deal with their ticking biological clocks, I know plenty of single guys who've openly expressed an interest in having kids and a wife, along with all those other domesticated things that go with a healthy marriage.  Guys don't worry so much about their "clock", but they do wonder about being too old to run around with their kids, or even if their parents will get to enjoy their grandchildren one day. A friend of mine who recently got married actually positioned such an argument to me as to why he was "ready." He didn't want his Parents to be too old by the time he had kids...and the woman he was seriously dating was also "ready"....although I think her readiness had more to do with all her sisters and friends having babies than anything else. 

Guys who date, yet are reluctant to start a family, are most likely  worried about their sex life evaporating, than any freedom they may relinquish as a result of children. It's common for a couple's sex life to suffer after the baby...and I think it's guys who think most about this sexless future. After all, we've worked so hard to get to this point of regular, meaningful sex we're weary of anything disrupting this good fortune.

Notice I've yet to discuss how men date for a woman's job or money.  And the reason is quite simple. I've never met a man who says he's dating someone because of what they do for a living or for their wealth. I'm not saying it never happens...I'm saying, unlike with women, it virtually never happens. Guys may be attracted to women who are career driven with ambition and goals, but they're never going to specifically care how you make your money....unless you're in the porn/stripper/whore line of work...then some of us will in, some of us will be even more turned on by you; while others, will be just as easily turned away.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that there's far too many reasons given for dating than the one that ultimately matters most. Or should matter most anyway. Why can't I just date you because I like you? Why do I need a reason other than you make me feel better when I'm around you. Yet, too often, women don't want to feel the burden of being liked in this way. I've heard from many woman that just knowing they're the reason for someone's happiness is too much pressure to carry. They claim, "I don't want to be responsible for someone else's happiness." Are you joking? Making someone else happy is the most selfless, loving, greatest gift you can give another human being.  That's what life is all about. Without happiness you have nothing!

Knowing the type of guy you're dating...and more importantly, understanding his reasons for dating you, will help you become more aware of what you're getting into....long before you become dissatisfied or disappointed.  The best advice I can offer is to make sure you date for the right reason; however, you choose to define "right."