Benjy is a comedy writer for The Howard Stern show and he's been dating this woman Elisa for several months now. Although, they've known each other for nearly a year. What makes the story so fascinating is that when Benjy first introduced Elisa to the Stern Show audience a year ago he was in love with her, and she was physically repulsed by him. Maybe not repulsed...but certainly not attracted enough to date him. At the time she maintained what a great guy ("friend") he was, but there was nothing going on downstairs for her...and most likely never going to happen. Benjy is a schlub. A funny, entertaining schlub...but a schlub nonetheless. Here's a picture of the two from early in the "friend" zone relationship.
Not to be deterred by her lack of arousal...Benjy proceeded to woo and cough cough...charm...until....Fast forward to yesterday on the show and this Elisa is now madly in love with Benjy...completely 100% obsessed, deeply devoted and extremely turned on by the same guy she found initially highly unattractive. Here's the current photo of the happy couple to prove it.
I would provide an audio clip from the show so you could hear Elisa tell the story of her transformation in her own words but that would require 1. Me having to listen to it again. and 2. You having to listen to it.
Seriously, it's nauseating...well maybe a little romantic...but mostly nauseating. Trust me. Essentially, they kissed....and then she allowed him to...taste her....and well...the rest as they say is history. OK. So, how is this related to how men think?
There's 3 kinds of men who pursue women...
1. The kind who will go out and put forth any and all effort required to get with a woman they like. Nothing will deter them. Persistence. Benjy is that guy. So is George Costanza....who believes he can grow on women...like mold....but in a good way.
2. Then there's the kind (like me) that will do whatever it takes as well...just like Benjy....but only if we believe the woman is already attracted to us. It's hard enough to convince a girl to go out when she does like you...never mind one that has no interest, at first, in seeing you naked. I also believe in that instant connection and spark. If there's no flame burning from the beginning I'm not sticking around to see how long it takes to start the fire. I'm cold and I'm hungry. I need heat and something to eat. And I need it now.
3. Finally, the 3rd kind of guy in this world doesn't give a shit. Puts out minimal to no effort. If you like me, great. If you don't, be gone. Next.
I ask a lot of women which guy they prefer and surprisingly many...too many...pick guy #3. These woman explain they don't want a guy to be too excited about going out with them because it puts too much pressure on them. Ha. And you wonder why so many have cheated on you? If you don't care...why should they? You want pressure? Pressure is opening a condom quickly...and then trying to put it on even quicker because we're worried this pause in momentum may just be enough for you to change your mind or worse...cause us to lose our hard on. That's pressure. Liking me?...That's not pressure. That's relief. Too many women have it all backwards.
But I digress. Back to men.
What was I talking about? Oh...how men feel about the Benjy Elisa situation. It makes us think women are nuts...that she could be so turned off one day....and the next....the guy is the most handsome striking lover she's ever had. And while Elisa will go on and on how charming and thoughtful and kind and what a wonderful person Benjy is....the simple reason she's so transfixed now is because sexually, he took her to places she's never been. In other words...schlubby Benjy rocked Elisa's world. And she freely admitted this on the air. She's fully aware of what happened.
Which now brings me to another thought on how men think. And that is. We know of we take care of you sexually...we own you...not in the possession sense...but rather, in the mind control manner. We are now in your head and you can't get us out. It's a weird thing to equate sexual dominance with emotional control, but that's exactly what's going on between Elisa and Benjy. Elisa actually spends time worrying about losing Benjy to other women...even to famous women who come on the show. She was terrified of revealing how good of a lover Benjy is because other girls would hear this and then go after him. She said all this on the air.
And in the end....that's why Benjy stuck it out...because he knew if could get in her pants...he would get in her head. He already had her heart. She confessed long ago to loving him as a friend. It wasn't until he got in her pants that she started thinking about him differently. And that's why so many men are willing to stick it out...to stick it in. A lot of women think it's because we just want to get laid and get ourselves off because we're dirty dogs. Nope. The real smart men (or manipulators) stick it out because they know once they stick it in....good...the key is that it has to be good...once we do that...your mind is mush...for us.
And that's not the only reason we're willing to put in the effort. A lot of us...most of us...think that until we seal the deal with you...you're never going to like us as much as we want you to. Think about that. We want to rock your world so you'll like us even more than you already do. That's the main reason why we try so hard to have sex with you. It's not always because we're horny...yes..we always want to have sex with you because we're horny...but more so, it's to get you like to us more. And Benjy, as smart and as calculating as he is...was fully aware of how important it was to get naked with Elisa to move the relationship forward...or in his case bottomless..... dude won't take his shirt off....I told you he was schlubby.
I'm not sure what all this says about women...or men.....that's for you to decide.....but it certainly says something.