Email your Comments and Questions to:

Monday, December 10, 2012


Men know perfectly well that cuddling is something all women want to sex....women are always up for a good cuddle. 

As a man, I understand the's warm, comforting, loving. It's an intrinsic human connection that is both physical and emotional. In its basic nature, it's rather innocent. I even know a woman in Los Angeles who throws "cuddle" parties in her home for people who lack intimacy in their lives or just want to feel "connected" to another human being. I get it. But women should also be very aware of how men think about cuddling, because it's quite different from the female perspective. And when I say "how men think" what I really mean is, how ALL men think.

To a heterosexual man, the cuddle can be all of the things I just described above, but it's also a gateway to sex. Check that. It's ALWAYS a gateway to sex. 

Now, before you go and get your panties in a twisted knot, I'm NOT saying we ONLY cuddle in hopes of sex....what I'm saying is, if we cuddle with you, we are going to WANT sex. That is a natural response from a normal heterosexual man. And no man should ever have to apologize for wanting more than just a cuddle from an attractive woman. Any physical contact with a woman we find attractive is going to arouse us. We're that easy.  Like it or not, it's  how we're wired. This goes for dirty dancing too.  And our sensational response to that kind of physical contact needs to be respected.

I know what you're thinking too. What about when we cuddle with women we're not attracted to?  Easy. We never do that. We're only cuddling, giving neck and back massages and rubbing feet with women we're attracted to. Any man who discounts this practice is one of two things. Gay. Or full of shit.

I recently told a woman that I could not cuddle with her because I knew we were not going to have sex, so why would I tease, torture and afflict myself with a frustrating and discomforting case of blue balls?  Because that's exactly what would have happened. She was sad to hear it and couldn't quite understand why "cuddling" was such a big deal. And why couldn't I just enjoy it for simply what it was?

The reason we can't enjoy the cuddle for cuddle sake is because men are extreme sexual beings....much more so than women. This doesn't make us dirty dogs or sexually deviant. In fact, what it makes us is perfectly healthy men. Or perhaps, we're just not nearly as "evolved" as women. I'm willing to acknowledge women can departmentalize and separate sex from every other activity that isn't "sex".  It's really an amazing skill. Men cannot do this. We're always thinking about it or have the instant capacity to think of matter how presently removed we may be from a sexual situation. Nothing can stop the thoughts from entering our mind. We could be cleaning dog shit off our shoes and a pretty woman could appear in our line of sight and we'll still think about her sexually. Bad example. OK, so maybe we are a bit of a collective dirty dog. Don't like it? You can always go lesbian.

Personally, I love cuddling, but I'm also still highly indifferent toward sex. I have no desire to pursue it, much less have it. However, if you stick an attractive woman's beautiful ass against my cock and expect me to snuggle up and hold her tight against my body...I'm automatically going to start thinking about and wanting sex. Men are not built with the strict on/off switch that women possess. We can't just "shut it down" or turn away a pending orgasm....yes...we may have emotional or physical or drug related issues that prevent us from performing, but no man can just decide to stop when he actively wants to have sex, and when he's already engaged in the process. If we shut it down it's only because we no longer want to have sex because you're yelling "STOP!" or we suddenly don't want to cheat on our partner, if we have one.  Those are about the only two explanations for not "finishing."  In every other case...there is no stop sign ahead for us. Our light is always set to green.

Marijuana is commonly referred to as a "gateway" drug by its opponents. Well, to men...cuddling is our gateway drug to the land of hope, dreams and....nakedness.