Being Romantic

One of the most common complaints from women is a lack of romance from their man or from men in general.  One day out of the year...Valentine's Day...is forced upon us to be just that. But doing something on Cupid's derived holiday does not make you a romantic. Maybe it's just the Libra in me, and the fact I love Bruce Springsteen so much, but I'm one of those guys, like Bruce, that carries "romantic thoughts in my head" every day.

Being romantic means always thinking of what you can do for your girl...or a girl who you want to be your girl...that will make her smile. Whether it's sending a simple text that says "I'm thinking of you" or driving all night just to buy her some shoes, when it comes to romantics, it is truly the thoughts that count. 

Like walking out of your way to a certain street corner in New York City just to take a picture of the street sign which happens to bear her last name.

Like waiting on her doorstep just because you had to see her.

Like flying in, out of the blue, just to surprise her....even if it was on Valentine's Day.

Like flying 1500 miles out of the way just to take her to lunch, to a museum and for a walk in the park.

Like writing a poem about her that may end up being more Dr. Seuss than William Blake.

Like not going to the Grammy's without her, even though you had VIP and she did not, and Bruce Springsteen was opening the show!..........wtf was I thinking?!

Like grabbing her hand and pulling her with you as you rush to the front of the stage for Bruuuuce....not leaving her behind to get there herself....like a friend of mine inexplicably did last week. He romantic...not.

Like staying up all night to watch her sleep because you didn't want to miss her waking up.

Like doing something, anything...just because she wants to.

Like taking her photo.

Like making a mix tape (CD).

Like holding her hand.

Like posting your favorite song on her wall......like this one. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r8qpTL1wxGQ

Like liking what's next with her.

Like not wanting the night to end.

Like thinking of her....always.

Like if you're in love....even if he/she doesn't know it yet, or doesn't even care....Happy Valentine's Day.

Los Angeles Women

This is EXACTLY how men feel about LA women.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=cBiR2rKU69U

A Man Who Has His Stuff Together

I was at a college alumni dinner the other night and a woman, who was there, asked if anyone knew any single men available.  For whatever reason, I exchanged glances with the guy next to me and we both said to each other, "Hey I'm single."...not that we were necessarily interested in this woman...I was not on any level...but, we just kind of both jokingly let her know we were available. To which she quickly dismissed, "Oh, I mean men who have their stuff together."

Now, she didn't know anything about us other than what we did for a living...had no idea how successful we may have been or even anything about our personalities. Maybe she just assumed no one at this "networking" dinner could possibly have their stuff together, otherwise why would they be "networking?"  I really should have asked her exactly what she meant by her comment because it bothered me and everyone around me at the table, including some women.  For once, I chose to remain "professional" and non-confrontational. I let it go without much condemnation. I let her get off easy.....Maybe it's the Prozac.

At any rate, after stewing over this for a few days, today, I recalled a woman who I met a little over 10 years ago. I can remember it like it was yesterday. At soon as we met, for lack of a more masculine word, I was smitten immediately. But I also thought...I can't possibly date this woman, not now anyway. She's a project for the future. Down the road...I would go for her.  My hesitancy had nothing to do with a lack of confidence in her being into me; rather, it was all in my head. It was all about me. I did not feel like I had "my stuff" together. I felt like I needed to be able to give her "more" or somehow "be more" than I was at the time. And  I'm not talking just financial...it was a combination of a lot of other things that I thought were important.  

Yes, I put this woman up on a pedestal, thinking she was perhaps the most beautiful, enchanting and exciting woman I had ever met. And also thinking, just being a "fun" guy or a "good" guy would not nearly be enough....and again...it was not that I thought she was the type who would need anything more than that from whoever she dated. I just thought she deserved it. And you know what? She does. I still maintain a relationship with her today and I still feel the same way about her. Although, we never did end up getting together, I still believe the only reason was because she was not physically attracted to me...and had nothing to do with whether or not I actually had my stuff together.

So, it got me thinking even more about what it means for a guy to have his stuff together. What does it mean for a woman?  And does anyone really have their stuff together? I mean...we're all crazy...in our own way. We all have issues. We all have baggage. None of us walk around free and unencumbered  All of us have our share of stuff that's all over the place. Maybe a more relevant dating question to ask men is, "Do you know what you want from a woman?"

Keep in mind, this question is very different from asking "What do you want?" If you ask men this question you will all most likely get the same answer. Men want women. But knowing what you specifically want from a woman speaks to your unique personality and your relative confidence. Springsteen has a line in his song, Brilliant Disguise, "God have mercy on the man who doubts what he's sure of." 

Part of the reason I love Bruce so much is that he always knows how to sum it up precisely and perfectly. Only a man who knows exactly what he wants is a man who truly has his stuff together. And as messed up as I am...above all else....I've never had a doubt what I've been sure of...and what I want....even as far back as the time I met that woman a dozen years ago.

For those interested...here's Brilliant Disguise, in it's entirety. It just happens to be one of Springsteen's most beautiful songs....complete with a very eloquent introduction from Bruce about the song, and about love.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=0bCgaHoqGYU#!

Howard Stern and his Snow Angel

OK. I know what you all are thinking before you even started thinking it. Howard Stern and Snow Angel don't exactly go together. Or if they do, then it must be something sick and perverted. Yes. They very much do go together and No, it's not perverted. In fact, it's probably one of the most beautiful things I've seen in a long time.

In recent years Howard's taken up photography as a hobby. And naturally, his most photographed subject has been his model wife, Beth. Here's their latest heavenly winter wonderland collection with video.

http://howardstern.com/archive.hs?h=2074

What makes this set of pictures so exquisite and striking isn't just because the composition and subject are so  appealing; rather, something else is going on behind the lens.

Beth is Howard's inspiration. His muse, his joy, his passion...and his lover. These pictures. This hobby. This is the extraordinary affect a good woman can have on a man. You make us want to take your picture. To paint you. To sculpt you....to touch you...to hold you.....to write about you....to breathe in your presence and bask in your light.

Any man who's ever been in love knows exactly what I'm talking about. And while there may be some women out there who share a similar sentiment, I've never heard of one.  Women just don't look at men as someone who inspires them or takes their breath away in a non-lustful manner. I can't offer any explanation  as to why a woman takes such an intoxicating hold of our conscious and devoted thoughts. All I know is she can. Women possess an existential magical power over a man's psyche.

You can vividly see it in the photographs how Howard clearly feels about her...how he looks at her...and into her. Every man desires a woman to look at in that way. And even more important, we want a woman who wants us, alone, looking at her in that way. And that is a true snow angel.

The Apple and The Woman

Friend or Foe?  

 Where in lies the evil?

The Apple? Or the Woman?

My Bromance with Bruce Springsteen

I’m a 100% heterosexual 41-year old single man and I’m in love with Bruce Springsteen. I’m neither embarrassed nor at all concerned by this bold public declaration of affection. In fact, I’m extremely proud of it, knowing there’s thousands, if not millions, of other men, who feel exactly the same way.

The Grammy Foundation honors Bruce this week with its annual MusiCares Person of the Year Award, recognizing him for his lifelong achievements in music and charity efforts. Bruce is as much the world class humanitarian as he is the accomplished musician. His latest Grammy nominated single, We Take Care of Our Own speaks to the core of his songwriting and ideals. The Boss doesn’t just rock, he cares too.

From early in his career Bruce built a deep connection with his audience, as he sought purpose, passion and love in his own life. He invited us to join him on his journey. Seek out our light. Live our dreams. All the while preaching, only together, will we truly make it. In order to leave behind the Darkness on the Edge of Town, traverse through the Badlands, and ultimately, reach the Promised Land, we need one another.

For men, Bruce sings perfectly how we think about these things which give us meaning…about cars, about girls, and about life. And like Bruce, we all just want to know if love is real. His spirit fuels our hearts. His words entice our minds. His music lights our fire. He’s tough. He’s sensitive. He understands. Bruce talks and walks like a man. He’s the epitome of a “guy’s guy.” With all due respect to Jerry McGuire, it’s The Boss who men want to be, and who women really want to be with.

This bromantic Boss affair reaches all the way to the highest office in the land. During his first national campaign, President Obama remarked, “I’m running for President because I can’t be Bruce Springsteen.” Then, during the 2009 Kennedy Center Honors, Obama reminded us that he may be the President, “but Bruce Springsteen is the Boss.”

Ask Jon Stewart what he thinks of Bruce Springsteen. Rolling Stone magazine published a cover story last year where Jon spent an entire afternoon convincing Bruce how much he meant to him. Or better yet, go to YouTube and watch Jon’s incredibly humorous, yet poignant introductory remarks from those ’09 Kennedy Center Honors.

When it comes to our collective “man crush” on Bruce, nothing about our adulation is meant to be funny, over-the-top, or too dramatic.

NBC News’s Brian Williams, perhaps the most ardent of celebrity Springsteen tramps, confessed to Wendy Williams that “if there would happen to be some sort of chemical imbalance one day that would cause him to go in the other direction, Bruce would be his guy.” And he wasn’t joking.

Newsweek’s President Rob Gregory’s license plate calls out “Bruuuce” to all on-lookers.

New York restaurateur Drew Nieporent travels the world for three things. Fine dining, cigars…and Bruce.

Author Peter Ames Carlin just spent 494 pages detailed pages examining the life of Bruce.

An 18-year old Scottish Blogger who tragically lost his Father 5 years ago and has found both consolation and inspiration in Bruce’s music finally saw him in concert for the first time last year. “In New Jersey in September, I stood in the crowd as Bruce spoke about allowing the ghosts of our past to walk alongside us, with us. In that moment, as though with the cool evening wind of late fall, came something which has changed my life forever. I found peace with my Dad.”  (http://connorkirkpatrick.com/)

The two Eds, Norton and Burns are smitten.

John Cusack could go for a soak in his Hot Tub Time Machine with a certain Jersey boy.

And speaking of time travel, Michael J. Fox has plenty of plutonium to power the flux capacitor anytime for the Boss.

The coolest of the cool, Arthur Fonzarelli is hot for him.

Zoolander Facebook stalks him.

Bababooey wants to share a banana.

In 2008, Danny Devito gushed and drooled like a little school girl while inducting his Asbury Hero into the New Jersey Hall of Fame.

Robert Dinero’s signature line “Are you talking to me?” came courtesy of Mr. Springsteen.

Tom Hanks belted out “Rocky Ground” into my ear at the infamous Apollo Show earlier this year as if his next Oscar depended on it.

Bono, Eddie Vedder and Tom Morello all want Bruce to be their fourth.

Even Bruce’s current Manager Jon Landau, who you would expect to have the deepest of crushes, wrote this when he was just another music critic for The Real Paper in 1974, BEFORE he became his lifetime business partner. “When his two-hour set ended I could only think, can anyone really be this good; can anyone say this much to me, can Rock ‘n Roll still speak with this kind of power and glory? And then I felt the sores on my thighs where I had been pounding my hands in time for the entire concert and knew that the answer was yes.” And oh by the way, in that same column he also declared, “I saw Rock and Roll future and its name is Bruce Springsteen.”

In a world filled with broken promises, distrust and false idols one man continues to rise above and outshine the rest. When people ask me why I love Bruce so much, or why I need to see him perform in concert over and over again, I always say the same thing. He never disappoints. And while I’ve never actually met him, I did touch his foot once while he crowd surfed…I feel like I’m as close to him as any other man I’ve ever known, outside my Father…who’s also in love with him…mainly because of me.  In all sincerity, I trust him. I know I can count on him. He’s my best friend.

Another close friend and I use to say to each other that if we could find a woman to light up our lives like Bruce does, we’d be the two happiest guys in the world. If that’s not love, I don’t know what is.

If you want to see what it looks like for a bunch of grown men to have tears of joy in their eyes with their arms raised high, go to a Bruce Springsteen concert.

In Landau’s much quoted historic review he also wrote, “There is no one I’d rather watch on a stage today.”  I’ll call and raise that sentiment.

There’s nothing I’d rather be doing than watching Bruce on stage today. And I do mean NOTHING. Well…I wouldn’t mind throwing the baseball around with him and then having a beer.

I love you Bruce Springsteen.

When Will I Be Loved

Despite how much I keep you telling how important sex is to a man and how all we think about is getting laid we also spend more time than you would think about love. Most men won't admit it and prefer to keep the superficial stereotype alive, but that's not what I'm here for. I'm here to open our hearts and let you inside our minds.

But then again, don't take my word for it. Think about how many men have written songs over the years about love. There's a helluva lot more songs on love than there are on sex. The Everly Brothers released "When Will I Be Loved" in 1960. And in 2009 two of my favorite male musicians who would never be confused for "softies", John Forgerty and Bruce Springsteen, covered it. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VYVzqi0kPKM

I keep saying it...but it needs repeating. Men are deeper and more thoughtful than you've been led to believe.