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Sunday, November 20, 2011


For Pleasure or For necessity?  That is the singular question for a man.

Do we masturbate because it feels good to us or do we do it to keep from bursting? And by bursting I mean both our heads are so completely engorged with thoughts of sexual desire that our minds can't focus on anything else and our genitalia feels like it's going to explode with such painful ferocity if we don't tend to our fire down below properly. Although unlike a woman's actual heat rising like a phoenix out of her genitalia a man's "fire" is more's not a raw thermal increase we experience...our sensation is more abstract and less defined. While we do get's much more of a psychological need that's fueling us to "finish" than you would think.

Guys are somewhat split on the pleasure v necessity things in a sense some guys claim to enjoy it immensely and look forward to doing it while others simply do it because they need the eventual it from unfulfilled desires to tension to just helping get to sleep. 

And then there's doing it before a big date or going out for the night in search of the hook up. Not only does it take the edge off, but it allows us to reload and helps us last longer should we get to do the real deal later that night with an actual woman in our presence, rather than just with a woman in our minds.

Clearly, frustration from not having sex is the main masturbation motivator for men. Then again, I also know guys who claim to jerk off multiple times a day even though they're still getting laid regularly. These guys fall into the self gratifying "pleasure" people....and all of these types that I know, the ones who thoroughly enjoy doing it, are all total narcissists.

I won't even begin to try and compare our "need" to a woman's, but I will try to describe it further. Like I said in the opening paragraph once we become consumed by sexual thoughts and perversions we literally cannot move on until we jerk off. Whether it's a slow build or sudden impulse, the game plays out the same every time. Eventually, we have to take care of business. What most women will probably find shocking and disgusting is how little we need to trigger us.

Never mind the thoughts and memories we have about our current and former lovers, any random woman we encounter during the it, in person, on TV, on a billboard, in a magazine, at the bank or in line at the check-out at the grocery store can get our juices flowing.  You are correct to claim men are animals, but only in the sexual sense. No emotional attachment is necessary for us to want to fuck you, let alone masturbate to you. If we see a hot chick, no matter the circumstance, chances are we will be rubbing one out to her sooner rather than later.

Lately, I've been actively trying to keep my urges down, in effect, training myself to be desireless.  I am not one of those habitual masturbating narcissists. As I've gotten older, I've grown tired of being controlled by my sex drive. It has not been an easy thing to suppress, especially as a high a drive as I've had my entire life.

Medical experts appear to be split on the health benefits to masturbating. While the act itself is deemed natural, normal and safe...what does it say about one's own frustrations and needs if you're doing it a lot. How much is too much? Probably the answer lies with the individual. If you feel like you are doing it too much then you probably are.

I have a friend who claims to masturbate 3-4 times a day.? Do you think that's too much? Does he?

Before marriage Richard Christy from the Howard Stern Show reserved Friday nights for Masturbation where he'd stay in all night to watch porn and pleasure himself. He openly talked about it and how much he looked forward to Friday nights at home, alone.
Staying with the Howard Stern show...a rich emporium for masturbation...Wrap-up Show Host Jon Hein claims he doesn't do it at all so he can save all of himself for his wife. He thinks it's cheating in a way if he does it without her.  Long time show contributor and fan Melrose Larry Green proudly told me he doesn't like to finish....he actually loves the build up part and not the climax....a bit odd, but whatever gets you off...even if that means not getting off per se.

Comedian Louis CK devoted an entire episode of his TV show Louie to it where he announced "I'm a good citizen. I'm a good father. I recycle. And I masturbate." Here's a clip.

And then there's the Master of Masturbation Larry David who shined a new light on being Lord of the Manor and King of the Castle, asking us all who is master of their domain.

I'll tell you a couple of personal masturbation stories....besides just the countless times I came home drunk and came...a little while later....intoxication does slow down the process...or help hold out ...does it do the same for women or actually increase their rate of pleasure? I wonder. I'll have to ask a woman that.

So I was at my apartment pool and this girl was laying out on her back. Her ass was absolutely magnificent, glistening under the California sun. She also had her bikini bottom rolled up so as much of her butt cheeks as possible could tan...I was trying my best to concentrate and read, but every few seconds I had to glance up...I couldn't help myself. It was like an insatiable magnetic force drawing my eyes to look in her direction. There was no escape. I was caught in the gravitational pull of her sexual tractor beam. We ended up leaving together (at the same time...not actually together), only cause once I saw her get up to leave there really wasn't any reason for me to stick around. We made some small talk and she smiled at me as she walked away....and that's all it took....for my trigger.

The next day, I decided to take care of myself before going down to the pool, just in case she was there again.  Well, sure as shit, when I went out there she was there again. And this time she smiled at me as soon as she saw she knew....even before I entered the pool area. That's all it took. Again. Only this time, I actually went back upstairs immediately to the time I returned she was gone. Good. Now I'd finally be able to concentrate on reading.

The other story worth sharing is a bit more explicit. You've been warned.

I once had a woman specifically request for me to masturbate onto her. We were messing around hot 'n heavy and she didn't want to have full sex yet and instead asked if I would masturbate onto her. Not for her to jerk me off, but for me to handle myself, and then finish on her. She actually said "I want you to masturbate onto me." And I asked...just so there was no misunderstanding, "Are you sure that's what you want?" . She said, "Yes. That's what I want."  While it was the first time I had received such a direct invitation I knew it was hot and that she was going to get off on the idea behind me doing it to her and because of her...while she watched.  To her credit, she did ask me to titty fuck her first.

Of course, I was also aware the request was all part of her sexual manipulation and need to remain in control. This was an issue that would become even more clear about a half hour later when I turned the tables.  She was trying to say goodbye to me, but instead, she leaped...thrusted more like it....into my arms and attacked me so aggressively I now found myself holding her tightly in my lap as I sat, half hung off the edge of the bed...her legs wrapped around me. One of her my arms tightly gripped around her hips while the other worked my way down her body...letting my fingers do the walking and...the banging...I entered her with a determined tenderness...she responded with as much passion and excitement as you may expect. As I continued to masturbate her she grew closer and closer to an orgasm.....and then out of nowhere, seemingly just as she was about to finish...she tore herself off of me...stopping in "mid pump" to quote Larry David...I felt like Jeff who said to Larry, "Who stops a wack-off mid-pump?" Apparently this woman does. She admitted to "holding back" on me and most likely did so because she had a boyfriend who she was seriously conflicted by...guess she felt an orgasm for her was the "cheating" part. The question is...did she ultimately finish herself after she threw me out moments later.

Here's the clip from Curb btw.

One thing I can't figure out is why a woman ever masturbates unless she's in a monogamous relationship and her man is out of town or unavailable for some phone/Skype sex action. ....I was just told by a female friend that one reason women masturbate is to "climax" cause sex doesn't necessarily do it for them. Ah. I get it. No wonder so many women devalue sex with a really does do nothing for them.

Women say "Oh we get horny too. We just don't go around fucking everyone who triggers us downstairs." I say, 'Why the hell not?!'  If that woman from the pool told me she thought I was so sexy and either she was headed upstairs to take care of herself or I you think there would be a question of me going with her? I'd be so honored and turned on by her invitation she'd either have the best sex of her life...or the quickest....more likely.  Regardless, it would have been spectacularly raw and passionate, that's for certain.   

Many women are disgusted by the thought of a man they just met going home to masturbate to them. "Oooooh. gross." I think is what they say.  If men knew every woman they met in a day were masturbating to them later that night they would be so completely flattered and ego enhanced ...we'd be in a constant state of blissful euphoria.  Masturbating to someone is the most remarkable natural compliment a human can offer. Other species don't masturbate...probably cause they're getting enough sex so they don't need to. You want to stop men from masturbating to you...then have sex with him. Yeah, that's an ideal that is not practical, so instead...just embrace it....accept it and don't worry about it...just be happy.

Now if you'll excuse me...I need to go masturbate.