While most of these posts consist of the general thoughts of all men, occasionally I relate my actual experiences. A few entries ago I wrote about a Bartender I decided to cautiously pursue. Most men automatically stay away from bartenders because they know it's sort of a "fool's gold" chase. It's "fool's gold" as they're always getting hit on and tend to flirt and just be nice for the tips so they just make you think you have a shot with them to keep you coming back and ordering drinks. Basically bartenders are like strippers who leave their clothes on. You could argue picking up a Bartender is, in fact, "tougher than the rest." Also, most guys possess tremendous egos which keep them from going after anything but a "sure thing." And a Bartender is about as far from a sure thing as you can get. It's why guys tend to wait for that blatant green light. Of course, I'm an enigmatic different kind of male...so the enhanced level of difficulty was not going to deter me.
The curious thing about this particular Bartender is that she is not all that nice to her customers, nor does she seem to revel in the fake flirting that often goes with the job. She routinely acts cold and distant. That is, until I broke her down...or at least until I thought I had broken down her wall. Without replaying what transpired between us that eventually led me to ask for her number (you can read all about it in the other entry titled Tougher Than the Rest from December 14, 2011)...I'll cut to the bottom line.
Apparently, I mistook our back 'n forth combative quick-witted banter for flirtation. Because she had little interest in ever giving me her number. Despite our zodaic compatibility (she first asked for my sign) she claimed the following...
1. Whatever positive things I read on the Internet and showed her on my phone about our signs were incorrect.
2. I need a new phone.
3. I'm a contrarian.
4. I'm bossy.
5. We see the world differently.
Upon hearing this I thought it best to stop talking and I wrote her a lil note which she said she'd only read if the random guy standing at the bar, waiting to order, would say Yes." She asked him, "Yes or No?". He was like, "huh?" She repeated, "Just say Yes or No." He said " Yes." No surprise there. Most guys do...say Yes.
So as she read the note I told her that if more women learned to say, "Yes" the world would be a happier place. The husband of the couple next to me quickly agreed...only to get a brief tongue lashing from his wife. I apologized for dragging them into my shit. They just laughed their ass off and had been amused by our whole exchange. I got to admit it was rather comical. Of course the bartender disagreed and asked, "What if you asked me to kill someone? Should I still say Yes." I can't win with this chick.
When I first met this woman she complained about how all the men she dates are pussies and that she's tired of being in control. So here I am...willing to challenge her and not kiss her ass just to get into her pants and she doesn't like it.
I just think she's one of those women who likes to complain about the very thing she actually wants. She loves being in charge and being right...and doesn't want guys to question her in anyway. In reality, she's probably a little insecure and plays up this tough card exterior to avoid any real intimacy, which ultimately allows her to avoid any further heartbreak. I was hoping to get to know her outside of the bar environment, but she was certain she had me all figured out and wasn't going to let that happen.
When I went back in to the bar with a buddy several nights later she saw me as soon we walked in and immediately looked down, away from me, and smiled. My buddy saw it too...and thought it was kind of interesting that a smile was her instant reaction. But this time, I took the high road and didn't pursue anything. Just wished her a Happy New Year and that was the extent of our conversation.
Too bad it turned the way it did because it was the first girl in 2 years I found intriguing and attractive enough to want to take out. She'll never know what she missed...she only thinks she knew. Then again, she probably never found me attractive in the first place. And that's the real reason why things went sour, and nothing to do with our opposing "world views". lol.