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Wednesday, January 4, 2012

96 years of Love & Wisdom

Last week I sat down with a still very much "with it" 96 year old Grandmother for my 20 Questions documentary. We spent nearly 3 hours talking about men, women, love and life. At the end of our time together I told her she should be teaching seminars and, if only more women today were like her, the world would be a better place. Not to my surprise she informed me many other men have said similar things after they visit with her the first time. She's remarkable for both her spirit and the thoughts in her heart. While this blog is meant to relay "How men think" I'd like to share how a woman who loved the same man for 70 years thinks.

Women are oversexed.  At first I thought she was talking about men because most women today express that we are the ones who crave and need sex all the time like wild animals...and we do...but to hear her tell me she thinks it's the women who are actually the ones more obsessed with sex, that was fascinating. She has a lot of younger female friends who are still very active in the dating scene...and by younger I mean more than half her age. Her observation is based on how they talk to her and what advice they seek from her. She couldn't pinpoint a specific reason as to why, but she seemed pretty certain about it. It makes me wonder if the reason women tend to make men feel like we're the bad ones for having such a high sex drive is because they're actually attempting to deflect their own incredible high drive.

Women should not be dependent on a man to support them or take care of them. This woman worked in a department store long before women did anything but cook, clean and have babies. So naturally, she can't understand why women today still want a man who can take care of them financially or otherwise. She proclaimed how women are so much more advanced socially, politically and economically then they were in her day that there's no good reason to still behave like they can't take of themselves. And the kicker is she never worked just for the money. She worked as a salesperson because she got pleasure in helping customers buy something that made them happy. That's what she took away from her job most. How wonderful is that?

Women should never go out with someone if they're not attracted to them. When I told her some women I know have done this very thing...including a couple that ended up marrying men they were at first unattracted to she said, "Not for me. I couldn't do it." She agreed, why waste your time in waiting to see if you're attracted to them? Dating is hard enough without having to wonder when and if you're going to find a guy attractive. She asked me "Why would a woman go out with someone in the first place if she doesn't like him like that?" I told her what women have told me, "For a free meal." She thought that was absolutely pathetic.

A Woman's best quality should be her compassion and love. She also said the same for a man.

Listen to what's in your heart and not anyone else's. She claimed she never took advice from others when it came to a man. Only you know what you want and what's good for you. Trust yourself more.

Shit or get off the pot.  This goes for both men and women. Don't be a pussy. If you like someone tell them. What's with the waiting? And don't worry about how they're going to react. You have to do what makes you feel good. Even if that means popping in on someone without calling them first (which she did with her eventual husband after they hadn't spoken in a year because he broke up with her after she had lied to him...she knew she was wrong). So what if they're going to be mad about you just showing up? You got to do what you got to do...and hopefully, they'll understand that.

Here's a picture of this amazing woman I am now honored to call a friend.