The 7 Deadly Sins - #6 ENVY

Envy is characterized by an insatiable desire. And while it's similar to jealousy it goes beyond simply feeling discontent to someone else's traits, attributes or fortunes. The envious desire and covet what others have. It directly relates to one of the 10 Commandments, "Neither shall you desire anything that belongs to your neighbor."

When it comes to envious women, one of the man codes is to never mess with your boy's girl. You just don't go there. Yet, I hear stories all the time of women sleeping with their girl friend's guys. What cause this action?  foremost, a lack of respect for your friend.  However, more than anything else, envy is the root of this sin.

Envy vexes me because I could never understand why someone would see someone else's happiness and try to selfishly sabotage it for their own pleasure. Being jealous is a factor of not being happy with yourself, but being envious is behaving without a soul.

Men will consistently tell you that when they approach a group of 3 girls...there's always one in that group that wants to leave or will "cock block" the guys from getting anywhere with their girlfriends. That girl is an envious c-u-next-Tuesday. Don't be that girl.

It's no surprise that the counter Virtue for Envy is Kindness.  Warmth, generosity and love for another do not exist in a person with envy. The kinder you are, the more you hope for someone else's happiness.  Instead of competing with your fellow females for a boy's attention why not...I don't know...help them achieve what they desire. What comes around, goes around.

The 7 Deadly Sins - #5 Wrath

Rage. Anger. Hatred. Whatever the cause of such an outbreak of this negative and nasty disposition is not nearly as critical as what to do about all this built up resentment and frustration?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mTv1Dmu5CYc

Thornton Mellon had the answer: Do not go gentile into that good night. And don't take shit from no one...especially from the opposite sex.  For purposes of this blog I'm going to reserve all these emotions that compose "Wrath"  for our feelings toward, well, the opposite sex. If only they were as easy to dismiss as Rodney barks in this infamous scene in his 80's classic film "Back to School." It's something I struggle with on a daily basis. At times, I've tried to redirect my wrath and use it as motivation to be a better person, more successful, find things that will allow me to smile, rather than frown. None of this really seems to work. 

A more useful tool may be to look at the Virtue for Wrath which is "Patience". And forgiveness. If you can learn to forgive whoever made you angry that's a peaceful step in the right direction.  Until you manage to justify and accept whatever brought wrath on, you will never be able to move past it.

I'm hopeful that one day my internal anger I still feel toward some females whose behaviors deeply affected me will eventually pass. Remember, this too shall pass, eventually. Patience and forgiveness are the two most important paths to inner peace. That, and reminding myself "not to take shit from no one."

The 7 Deadly Sins - #4 Greed

Ah yes, Greed.  Michael Douglas as the great Gordon Gecko made it infamous with his "Wall Street" movie speech, proclaiming it "good", for lack of a better word. Like "lust" and "gluttony" greed is also a sin of excess,  most commonly referring to the excessive pursuit of material possessions. Although, it can also mean in more general terms, pursuing or acquiring more than one needs.

So how exactly does greed invoke itself into dating? Like any other pursuit...not being satisfied or content with what you have. Always looking for what we men call women out for: the "BBD"....the Bigger Better Deal. Because we seldom find women to know what they want, we believe their eyes to always be on the hunt for the next best thing. Now, I understand how women too think this way about a man's wandering eye. So, let me put it another way.

When men pursue and engage women we basically look for two very simple things. Are we attracted to you? And when we see you, or think of you, do you make us smile? That's it. If the answer is a solid "yes" to both those questions, we're content...and satisfied. We don't need anymore. For to need, and expect more, would be....for lack of a better word...greedy. While our simplicity at times is mocked for being underdeveloped or neanderthal like, it should be more celebrated and appreciated. Greed may be good in capitalistic endeavors; but when it comes to matters of the heart, it's pure evil.

With women it all starts with your "lists".  My best advice is to shorten them, immediately.  As you get older you realize what use to seem so important and a "deal breaker" doesn't nearly matter so much. You will never find happiness with a man if you can't be happy with the simplest traits so prolific in us men.

The heavenly virtue associated with Greed is Charity. Not in the sense of financial giving, but the benevolent giving of kindness and love to others. The less you demand...and need...the more you're able to offer and in turn, accept. This kind of love resides in your will, not in your emotions. Love thy neighbor just as you might love God. If you can be this virtuous, then whatever someone can give you will always be enough. Appreciate what you have...and not what you don't. "More" will cease to exist and thus, you will find yourself further down the path to happiness.

The 7 Deadly Sins - #3 Sloth

Sloth...it's as ugly as it sounds. It's often defined as physical and spiritual laziness. Not doing the things one should do. To take it even further, ignoring or failing to uses one's talents or gifts. Being a virtually waste.

First the physical. No excuse not to exercise or go to the gym or take an aerobics class. Whatever. If you put on weight easily, watch what you eat. Work out! Not doing either is just pure laziness. Show some discipline and self-respect.

Now the spiritual. Recognize and appreciate your purpose or your personal strengths. Not to be crude, but if you give amazing blow jobs...then don't be shy with sharing that talent with the world. But more than any sexual proficiency you may possess, work on your moral fiber. 

No more delaying what you know is right or what you should be doing with your life. I don't care how hard it may be for you or what you think others might say, just do it already! Women are so focused on the concept of time and timing, sometimes they lose sight of what they actually could be doing with their time. Your time is too valuable to be "waiting" or making excuses. Once you've figured out what you want (sadly, many women never do) fucking go after it!  Enough with being a Sloth.

The heavenly virtue to counter Sloth is Diligence. 

Be diligent with your life. It's a virtue of hard work and the goodness that goes with it. Don't wait on others. Be proactive. Be productive. Work to improve yourself like it matters. Not giving a shit about something or someone is just a lazy, sloth like cop out. You should work harder to care more. Even if you can't make a difference in your life, you may just cause a positive change in someone else's.

The 7 Deadly Sins - #2 Gluttony

In my continuing look at the 7 Deadly Sins, next up is Gluttony. To gulp down, over indulge, over consume.  You might say when it comes to sex all men are gluttonous. Ha. However, gluttony can further be interpreted as selfishness...which is one of many favorite topics to discuss when it comes to men and women.

One of the single worst attributes a person can have is selfishness. All this talk about self improvement and focusing on your needs makes the world great for you...because you've now made it revolve around you.  It's all about you. Go ahead focus on yourself.  See what happens to the love you attract...and give.  When it comes to relationships, if you put your needs ahead of your partners you will never experience true love. The nature of love is the absence of selfishness. It's also a "golden rule". Do unto others...

The corresponding Virtue is Temperance. Restraint, Justice, Mindful of others. In other words, it's a proper moderation between self-interest and the surrounding public's. Always be aware of how your actions and thoughts affect others. That is the key to a more peaceful, harmonious and loving world. 

Don't just be in it for your personal satisfaction or gratification. The world you live in is not only about you. In fact, it's probably least of all about YOU. Make more time for others. Not less. If someone calls or messages you, answer them. Respect yourself by respecting others first. Stop being so "gluttonous". It's deadly.

Follow Me

Photographer Murad Osmann has a released a series of striking photographs with his girlfriend from around the world. They're all identically shot from his point of view of her leading him.

http://www.petapixel.com/2013/03/01/photographer-captures-girlfriend-leading-him-around-the-world/

My first thought was "Damn...that dude's got some hairy arms." OK, maybe that was my second thought. Back in the day, a sexy picture of a pretty woman from behind like the one above might have sent me straight into a self indulged lust fest, requiring a completion of tawdry proportions.  However, my strong willed mind of today leaves me comfortably relaxed, free and clear to intellectually evaluate what's really going on these images.

The guy is allowing the woman to be in charge. While some woman seek submission, most enjoy the pleasures of taking control, to a point. Not only in terms of where they may go next, but...well...quite frankly...the terms, as in, how they're going to get there. Men know this...and since we're ALWAYS working to turn you on, because God only knows what does....we'll do just about anything that brings sex to the forefront of your mind. All women have a personal point where they're willing to give up their control when it comes to foreplay and sex...and turn it over to the man. And it's usually up to the man to find it.

Now, with a body like that, I can totally understand why this guy wishes to photograph his lady in such a....forward position. She's not only the object of his desire, but I'm sure of many others.  When a guy likes a girl he wants to capture her in all means possible. Whether to photograph her, write about her, paint her....anything that showcases her in his light is something we desire. It's always struck me as strange that women do not garner the same reaction to men....Are we any less desirable? Or do women not see us as in an art form?  You never see women taking photos of their boyfriends or other men.  The real question here is: How willing of a subject was she?

According to the article...the project came about because the guy was stopping too frequently to snap photos and his girl reached to grab his hand to "keep going". When he snapped a couple of pictures of her pulling him away, he decided to keep up with the idea of photographing her...now intentionally. And I'm also certain it took some convincing on his part to get her to turn into a willing participation. No women says Yes to anything with any ease.  Most ideas we men have that involve women tend to be frowned up as either "silly" or "juvenile".  No matter how old, or how mature we may appear, we are all little boys at heart.

So, yes, this is partly a photographic accident that became a collection of photographic art...but mostly, it's a playful game of sexual desires and conquests. At least that's how the average man will see it. I do wonder what the ladies think?

The 7 Deadly Sins - #1 Lust

This is the first entry in my engagement of the 7 Deadly Sins and their Virtuous counterparts, as they relate to the mind of a heterosexual man.

With lust being first up on the acrimoniousness list. So, what exactly is lust?

In sexual terms, Lust is derived from the Latin word "Libido". The more a man's lust, the higher his libido. It's rare for a woman to say "I wish my man had more of a sex drive". We simply lust too much for you. Lust can also refer to the intense desire for non-sexual things like money, fame, material objects, etc. No kind of  lust is good...they're all deadly. No matter the type, all lust leaves you unfulfilled, unsatisfied and unhappy.

Several schools of thought exist for men on one of the most common after effects from sexual lust: Masturbation.  

Some guys enjoy masturbation for the pure pleasure and self gratification. Others do it out of frustration and need; while some prefer to bottle it, keep it in and save it for their partner. And yet there are still a few brave souls among us, who choose to refrain from it all together.  

In my personal journey toward enlightened desire-less  I've found myself to be much stronger in mind now, than when I was as a regular practitioner of lustful principles. If lust makes you weak, then clearly, Masturbation is weakness leaving the body.  Not wanting, yearning or caring for lust fulfilling conquests have left me with a personal strength I never thought attainable. I'm healthier, more respectful and unequivocally happier without lust in my life. Which leads me to the opposite of lust: Chastity. And the first of the 7 Heavenly Virtues.

Chastity is defined as: Abstaining from sexual conduct according to one's state in life; the practice of courtly love and romantic friendship. Cleanliness through cultivated good health and hygiene, and maintained by refraining from intoxicants. To be honest with oneself, one's family, one's friends, and to all of humanity. Embracing of moral wholesomeness and achieving purity of thought-through education and betterment. The ability to refrain from being distracted and influenced by hostility, temptation or corruption.

In a world without lust, you are free to dance the night away with your girlfriends in a public forum without the worry of a strange man sidling up behind you and rubbing his throbbing anatomy against your backside. Sounds heavenly doesn't it? We should all aspire to such virtuous.