Email your Comments and Questions to:

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Do guys have any "Rules" when it comes to dating?

Not many. And that's part of our problem. Or is it?  We don't care what you do for a living, where you're from or how you spell your name.  If we're physically attracted to you and we like your personality, you're in there. Sure we want to be able to talk to you...have intelligence, passion, ambition...along with all of the other traditional universally acclaimed traits.  But specific check marks or requirements to dating? No. Once again...we (men) are simple creatures with simple needs.

On the other hand, many women have too many rules. Less rules. More love. Too many superficial dating rules exist, ones that have nothing to do with who he is as a person....which should be the only requirement that matters in dating. But we all know it's not.  And you wonder why so many relationships end? Many women tend to focus more on what they think they need, then what actually makes them happy. What makes you happy? What do we do for a living? What kind of car we drive? How much we make? become just as important as Do we make you laugh? Do we value you? 

I ask woman some of their rules as part of my 20 Questions documentary.  One told me, she would absolutely not date a guy who wore Sketchers brand shoes. Huh? What's that? Another said, "No" to guys who wear dress shoes with jeans.  I guess shoes are  that big of a deal, huh?  But why? Do shoes really make the man? Another would only meet for drinks on a first date and never a meal. Another maintains a "90-day" rule; although she apparently seems to bend this one from time to time. I think she just likes having it for the sake of saying it rather than following it. And finally one told me, "I need your car to be clean enough to want to have sex in."  I can't argue that rule.

Recently, I overheard a conversation between two women walking through Runyan Canyon (the Hollywood gossip trail) where one claimed as she was happy with her new boyfriend's family and how she learned her lesson from the guy before and his family and how she could never date a guy with a crazy family.  But she also mentioned that as she gets older her list of rules are getting smaller and smaller. Not that she's becoming less picky...that's not what it means. She was trying to say rules don't seems as important as they use to be. 

Substance over style.

Maybe guys don't bother to make these kind of lists because we inherently  understand more what makes us happy. We know what we want is not found in your purse or on your resume or in your family. The only thing that matters to us is how you look at us and what's in your heart.

A friend of mine prefers women in high-heeled shoes....that may be more of a fetish/preference than actual rule. However, we got to talking about women and their shoes...and we both agreed...flip flops got to go. Unless you're at the beach or the pool...wear some shoes...flip flops just say "I'm dirty and I don't care."

OK. So no flip flops.  The only other real rule we have is that you say "Yes"  when we ask you if you like us.

Unless you believe what you see in TV & Film, as I do, then maybe we have 3 additional requirements.
  1. Unlock our car door (Bronx Tale)  

     2.  Have nice feet (Boomerang)

      3.  And please, please don't eat your peas one pea at a time
           (still looking for the clip)

On the food note...I will add some guys look at a woman unfavorably as to what and how they order food.

I dated a woman who always ordered Chardonnay. ALWAYS. Lunch. Dinner. Mexican. Japanese. Italian. Chardonnay.  The same woman was also obsessed with sides of Salsa and Parmesan cheese. Excessive amounts of Salsa and Parmesan.  Any man would have been troubled by it.

A guy once told me a woman should always order a salad or something less expensive on a first date. Never go for the steak on a first date. I jokingly asked if he took her to a steak house?  He was saying it was an act of entitlement if a woman orders "anything" off the menu...I thought that was bit rough, but I understand where he's coming from. No matter how much or how little money a guy makes he doesn't want to feel like he's being taken financial advantage of by a woman. At least for a first date, bear this in mind.

So food and feet aside, just be cool...and be hot. Those are our only rules that actually matter.