Being "Too Busy"

This expression is tossed around quite a bit in the real world. We're all busy...well....most of us anyway. My schedule's pretty free. At any rate, when it comes to dating, woman need to understand that no man is ever "too busy" for a piece of pussy....especially, if he's in love with it.

Being "too busy" is the oldest excuse in the book. While both men and women use it all the time, I've never known a guy who wouldn't make the time to see a woman he likes. In fact, he'll do everything and anything to make the necessary time for her. No schedule is too full to indulge in a slice of his favorite pie.

On the other hand, I've known plenty of women who treat a man they're "seeing" as someone they need to squeeze into their day planner.  No man wishes to feel like they're a line item appointment in her "busy"day book....unless they're penciled in for a "Nooner."  That was a joke....maybe.

Busy is a state of mind. Not a state of being.  How can you be "too busy" to smile? Or to laugh? Or to feel "good?" ....all of which can be delivered from seeing someone else.  The answer is you're not. Unless of course you're a narcissist, then you're able to receive all of those pleasantries from yourself. You alone is all you need to be happy, right?  Which then begs the following question, Are people who are too busy to see you, in fact, narcissists?

Well...not necessarily...they may just not like you....at all. You may make them feel lousy, so why would they want to see you?  At least when it comes to men, any man who's "too busy" to meet you definitely does not think too much of you.

I've often wondered how "busy" women date at all. They seem so wrapped up in their world and their issues how could they possibly share themselves with someone else? Perhaps focus is a better descriptor. Woman have the innate ability to hyper focus on whatever task or project is at hand and not allow any distraction by way of a man to interfere. On the other hand, men are so distracted by women...that everything else takes a distant back seat. Take for instance George and Jerry.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q5F8g1SgpuU

Men are incredibly focused on woman...at all times....especially when it comes to cleavage in the area. Whereas, the perception most men maintain is that woman spend a considerable amount of time focusing on themselves, completely ambivalent and unaware to any man within their narrow line of sight. 

In a metaphysical enlightened sense, women are the object of all our desires. And no one's ever too busy for a little enlightenment.

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Your comments are always welcomed at thenakedtruthforwomen@yahoo.com

 or via Twitter @TheNakedTruther

Ambiguous Communication

If you're at all a  regular reader of this blog then you know one of the things I probably stress above all else is proper communication. And perhaps, the only thing more frustrating than a lack of communication is ambiguous communication.

Properly communicating does not mean we should be left to figure out what something means or what you "really meant to say." Out with it. Be open. Be more honest.

Recently I exchanged a series of emails with a female reader of the blog who I've only met in person a couple of times. She claims to be a "big fan" of the writing and has even been the source of one particular entry. The precise one is irrelevant for this discussion. I'll respectfully keep her musings confidential. So I casually mentioned in one of our emails about meeting up for a drink because I had some personal questions to ask her and I thought it might be fun to just shoot the shit with her. She replied with the most curious of answers.

"I am so not meeting you for a drink."

Now...if she had just said, "I don't think it's a good idea we meet in person because...." well, then there would be no reason to write this entry, would there?  So...I guess I should thank her for providing me with another topic.  I guess what intrigues the most about the rejection is the "so" part of it. For the record, I was not trying to "hook up" with this person...that's not my MO. Maybe she thought it was and maybe she never even thought it at all....but adding the "so" to the "not meeting" me part is rather striking.  What did she think could come from an in-person encounter? Was she worried she may become attracted to me? Was she worried because she's familiar from reading what transpires from "casual" encounters with women from Chicago?. Yeah...she's a Chicago woman...so that certainly makes me think twice....but again...this is more about what she's thinking....not me.....and of course, I have no idea what she's really thinking because of her failure to properly communicate.

So, I'm left with the proverbial bottom line. She doesn't want to meet up with me. Period. Whatever her reason is for not wanting to shouldn't matter. Right? Isn't that the point when you ignore someone or reject someone? Who cares why? The only thing that matters is the end result. Well, I'm not okay with it. And never have been. I think too many people, men and women, too easily brush the "why" aside in favor of the bottom line. The same reasoning is often used in sports, Winning is the only thing that matters. I disagree. How you win and how you act after you've won are every bit as important as how you got there.

We can't evolve and we certainly can't learn without understanding the cause AND the effect. It's just like when you break up with someone. Tell me why! I can get over it or adjust my future behavior if I know why.

In all fairness to this woman, she owes me nothing; certainly not an explanation or justification. All I'm saying is, that it would be nice to have one. If only for human decency. Then again, maybe that's too much to ask in this bitter world we now seem to live in. Not enough people care what others think. We should matter more to one another, shouldn't we?

-------------------------------------------------

UPDATE

So, it's not often I continue the discussion of an entry once it's posted. However, this particular one received some immediate feedback worth sharing.

Here's some comments from a female friend who reads all of the blog's entries:

Wow, another interesting topic!

I was glad to hear from your last that you are not giving up on love!

My point of view is that a lot of woman are not very good at being that open

when it comes to communicating. Females have a way of communicating that 

often is not open and direct enough for men to understand. What is interesting

we as communicate to other women, we don't have to be very direct. We seem to 

connect the lines without it being completely spelled out. I think we often forget

that we need to use and different method when talking to a guy. Thanks for the 

reminder. I'm sure it must seem that we want you guys to be mind readers.

It's kind of the way we are built…It has taken me a while to figure this out…

And you really have to be careful of those Chicago woman...

As a matter of relevance, this woman from above also happens to be yet another "Chicago" woman. I'm sure it's difficult to believe at this point, but honestly, I do not go around seeking Chicago women. If only it were that easy.

Another dedicated reader is my Uncle who not only offers well thought out wisdom and advice, but can also be highly critical of my behavior, assumptions and writing. On this topic, he figured the "so" meant exactly what I surmised, but just as easily dismissed. He thinks the woman who would not meet me is too familiar with my "game" about not trying or being interested in sex and isn't buying any of it. In fact, she down right doesn't trust my intentions as in "No way Jose am I going to meet you for a drink. I don't trust you." Once again, this was my 60-something Uncle's interpretation. And based upon his supposition, he also claimed my original question to be ambiguous as I did not clearly state what my "meet for a drink" intentions were. I assured him there were no "intentions" and he was wrong about the reason behind the woman not meeting me.  It's just interesting to dissect something as mundane as a simple rejection.

What makes this post even more enlightening now is the woman, in question, responded so feverishly and thankfully agreed to let me share it with all of you. And here it is:

Hey Diane Sawyer- in your "exposé" you forgot to mention I'm a busy single mom who lives in Manhattan Friggin Beach aka: Southwest Guam or approx as far. We are acquaintances, not close friends, and not dating so taking a minimum 3 hours (an hour too and from plus an hour coffee) out of my life and juggling is not an option. There are people that were at my wedding- that I did shows with- that I don't get together to meet with. I meet with a.) guys I plan on having sex with or b.) an audition or c.) a teeny circle of gays and girlfriends that I've had since my Chicago days. Exceptions for mommy friends I've known 6+ years and verrrrrrry rarely. Maybe that makes me a bitch. Or maybe just busy. But I know I'd give the shirt off my back and possibly a kidney to that tiny group so in the end....less is more. Love (for fear you read this as meaner then meant)

Ha! A simple:  "As a single mom, I'm just too busy right now to meet you to just shoot the shit. Sorry. Nothing against you." would have sufficed or to put it in Hebrew terms: Dayenu. It would have been sufficient.

In addition, my initial reaction to her explanation was..."distance and time" were never discussed, so that was all her assumptions. I later made it clear I was perfectly willing to come to her...and I already knew she was a single Mom, so I could have come down during the day while her child was still in school. Again, never discussed.  But the bottom line is...and I'm grateful to her for finally getting to the bottom line...which is, if this meeting isn't going to get her laid, paid or gayed...it ain't gonna' happen. Fair enough. I get it.

Well....in fairness, I did not provide full disclosure in my initial post. It seems as if I misled all of you (not her) into thinking I asked to meet her for a "drink"....which was not entirely untrue....the drink I suggested was "tea"...she wrote back to me that "tea was gay"....so then I told her I was just being gentlemanly, which I was, trying to assure her I had no intention other than a friendly meet up. But with her "tea is gay" comment I  came back firing and admitted I would have no problem drinking alcohol beverages with her if that's what she preferred. It is to this comment she said "I am so not having a drink with you."

With all of that now known and previously known by my friend Mark who  thinks there might be something else at play here....and for the record, I think Mark is just stoking (or is it "stroking"?) the flames...for argument sake. But here's his theory.  He says she's enjoying the attention this blog is bringing to her...and while she remains anonymous to some degree, she's at the very least amused, somewhat flattered, and even perhaps slightly turned on by me writing about her. She is, after all,...a Hollywood actress...one who seeks attention and approval for a living...so, part of his theory is plausible. Here's where he stretches. He thinks she's "testing" me to see my reaction and if I "pass" then I may potentially become the "A" in her A,B,C's of meeting up with people. I would only be willing to possibly agree with him if we were, in fact, IN Chicago, Bruce was playing, and alcohol was involved. My perfect storm and irresistible tri-fecta. The Bing-Bang-Boom if you will.

One last note...the woman requested I go ahead and post a photo of her. I did not ask why and really have no inkling as to why...other than for people to say, "Well of course, she doesn't want to meet with you,. look at her!"  Maybe she's just curious which photo of her I might select...as they're are plenty to choose from on the web.  What I did ask her was if her recommendation was sarcastic...which she quickly replied was not. 

So...here's the "so" woman for all of you to observe and do whatever else you feel may be appropriate in the privacy of wherever it is you may be. Oh...I chose 3 photos, rather than one because...well...just one could never do this fiesty Puerto Rican, Italian and Irish beauty justice. I guess I decided to find a collection that properly captures her spirited tri-heritage in all its glory...at least, the spirit which I've only known as an "acquaintance."......An outrageously charismatic, fun-loving sexual woman.

 

I got to add this last part or I wouldn't totally be candid. I'm listening to E Street Radio right now and Bruce's "I'm on Fire" is playing. Thought you all might like to know that one.  HA!

Loving

So my last three entries have been about kissing, cuddling and dating...I guess to complete the "ing" series I should discuss loving.

I attended this  Zen Buddhist conversation tonight with Bernie Glassman and Jeff Bridges. http://www.lfla.org/event-detail/812/An-Evening-with-Jeff-Bridges-and-Bernie-Glassman

Yes. The actor Jeff Bridges...who's out promoting a new book called The Dude and the Zen Master. Seems Jeff's character that he played in the cult classic film The Big Lebowski became an actual inspiration for him to pursue a more Dude-like lifestyle...and in turn, he found some peace and love through Buddhism. His discovery also led him to the relationship with the masterful Jewish Buddha, Bernie Glassman, with whom he write the book.

I'm familiar with the basics of Buddhism, but never realized, until tonight, that love and loving is at its center. In part of their discussion, Bernie mentioned the "rug" from Lebowski...the rug that tied the Dude's room together. Here's a clip.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_vGK008c_rA

Bernie pointed out the rug is a symbol for love. Love is at the heart of the film, and, in the end, is what ties the Dude's and everyone else's life together. Without love we are incomplete. Our life is not full. And the more love, the more we share and the more we offer others, the better our life becomes, and the better the world around us becomes.

And that's also the essence of this blog.  It's in my description along the header. 

"An open and honest hetero man offering bold advice for LOVING and dating heterosexual men."

While it's my intention to help women better understand and love the men they date and make this a more loving world, I've personally struggled with loving women and vice versa. Not that I haven't loved or been loved, but I've been left...I won't say unsatisfied...rather...unfulfilled....and to a larger extent, experienced a little too much unrequited love for one lifetime.

Too often I've wanted to love someone, but they would not allow me the opportunity...or, on the occasions when they did allow it, it was as fleeting as a kiss or sometimes only stretching a week, or on the rarest of times, lasting but a few months. I've never experienced anything substantial or meaningful when it comes to dating. This emptiness in my life has often left me bitter, extremely frustrated, and often, angry. I've never quite been able to manage the rejection or loving I've lost out on.

Until tonight, I wasn't exactly sure what to do about it. For much of my life and especially the last 3 plus years I've been at a complete loss.  I've talked in depth to friends, family and therapists...but, no matter how much advice I receive, ultimately it comes down to me, and what I can do by myself. The only real solution is to try and love more......hate less, get rid of the anger...and turn my bitterness around. So, I know what I have to do. The question is, how?

On the way home I happened to listen to Born to Run playing on E Street Radio. One of the best lines from the song is "I want to know if love is real."  Throughout his career Springsteen spends a great deal of time singing about chasing and finding love. It's these thoughts that make him so endearing to the both the men and  the women who so passionately follow him. Bruce understands our struggles, our hopes, our dreams. He's able to simply connect in ways many artists cannot. The essence of  The Boss's greatest song is exactly what's exemplified by The Dude's most prized possession. "Born to Run" could just as easily be called "Born to Love"...for, like the rug, the song ties everything together.

Wendy let me in I wanna be your friend
I want to guard your dreams and visions
Just wrap your legs round these velvet rims
And strap your hands across my engines
Together we could break this trap
We'll run till we drop, baby we'll never go back
Will you walk with me out on the wire
`cause baby I'm just a scared and lonely rider
But I gotta find out how it feels
I want to know if love is wild, girl I want to know if love is real.

Neither Bruce nor Bridges claim loving to be easy.....instead, what they say, is that it's just something you should never stop doing....because.....in the end.....love is the answer.

Dating

When it comes to dating I often wonder: Why, what's the point? Especially with the disengaged state I'm currently in, I think about dating, or more accurately, not dating, more and more. Maybe it's just me, but I'm incredibly curious as to why men date at all. From a guy's perspective, it takes a tremendous of effort, time and money. So why do we even bother?

Well, the most obvious reason guys date is for sex. Any sex at all will do thank you very much...And if we're thinking of possibly progressing into a serious relationship we're really thinking how this is hopefully going to lead to "regular sex."  Unlike women who can pretty much just walk up to a guy at any moment in any setting and say they want to have with sex with him, a guy must do some obligatory flirting, wining, dining, texting, sexting, not calling, acting not interested, etc. just to get the panties off.  Even if we're talking about a 1-night stand, it's incredibly rare for a man to meet a woman and instantly get her to take her clothes off. While I miraculously managed to do it in under an hour one late night/early morning in NYC several years ago; I'm pretty sure if the woman I hooked up with had said to me then, "Let's go" within the first 5 minutes, I would have gone home with her right away.....I would have just ordered my pizza slice to go.

The next most likely reason for guys dating is for companionship. Although, I tend to think this reason has more to do with a fear of being alone, than actually seeking the company of a woman. And this is not meant as any sort of disrespect to woman;  but rather, I know guys have no problems hanging with "the guys"   all the time, whether it be while watching TV, going out to eat, drinking, sports, whatever. Guys can always bond with other guys. Whereas, many women I know openly express a disdain for female friends and like to admit they are a "guy's girl" and have always had more guy friends in their life. So, if we're strictly talking "companionship", all guys would be gay.

I know certain guys that bounce from one long term relationship to another without any real commitment to the person they're dating simply because they're terrified to be alone. Now, they wouldn't necessarily openly admit this to be the case, but based on the way they behave when they're in the relationship there's not another likely explanation.  To add fuel to this theory, they often ask me, "Don't you worry about being alone the rest of your life?"  I realize a lot of women think in a similar context and the idea of not having someone "special" in your life can, naturally, be a bit unsettling.  However, with regard to the idea of "companionship" as a reason to date, I'm not sure you'd want to be with someone who seeks it. This person is more about their own level of comfort than yours.

From a male's perspective another reason to date is to find someone to mother them. Not entirely a conscious decision, but many guys seek a woman who can take the place of their mother. Plenty of these guys exist that can't possibly take care of themselves without the proper care and nurturing a woman can provide. From cooking to cleaning to laundry to making decisions, these guys always depended on their mother, and so instinctively, they look for a woman who can satisfy these needs.  

I was recently laid up with a bad back, barely able to move; and if it were not for the aid of a female friend, I don't know what I would have done. In this particular case, yes I needed her tremendously to "mommy" me. I doubt any guy I know would have easily and as generously assisted me as she did. And I'm forever grateful to her. However, this still would not be enough of a reason I would date someone...just to be able to take care of me in case of emergency. Again...a very good friend can fill this need....you don't need to date to develop loving and trusting relationships.

A 4th reason to date may very well be for family. While women tend to be stereotyped as the ones who want to start a family and must deal with their ticking biological clocks, I know plenty of single guys who've openly expressed an interest in having kids and a wife, along with all those other domesticated things that go with a healthy marriage.  Guys don't worry so much about their "clock", but they do wonder about being too old to run around with their kids, or even if their parents will get to enjoy their grandchildren one day. A friend of mine who recently got married actually positioned such an argument to me as to why he was "ready." He didn't want his Parents to be too old by the time he had kids...and the woman he was seriously dating was also "ready"....although I think her readiness had more to do with all her sisters and friends having babies than anything else. 

Guys who date, yet are reluctant to start a family, are most likely  worried about their sex life evaporating, than any freedom they may relinquish as a result of children. It's common for a couple's sex life to suffer after the baby...and I think it's guys who think most about this sexless future. After all, we've worked so hard to get to this point of regular, meaningful sex we're weary of anything disrupting this good fortune.

Notice I've yet to discuss how men date for a woman's job or money.  And the reason is quite simple. I've never met a man who says he's dating someone because of what they do for a living or for their wealth. I'm not saying it never happens...I'm saying, unlike with women, it virtually never happens. Guys may be attracted to women who are career driven with ambition and goals, but they're never going to specifically care how you make your money....unless you're in the porn/stripper/whore line of work...then some of us will care.....as in, some of us will be even more turned on by you; while others, will be just as easily turned away.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that there's far too many reasons given for dating than the one that ultimately matters most. Or should matter most anyway. Why can't I just date you because I like you? Why do I need a reason other than you make me feel better when I'm around you. Yet, too often, women don't want to feel the burden of being liked in this way. I've heard from many woman that just knowing they're the reason for someone's happiness is too much pressure to carry. They claim, "I don't want to be responsible for someone else's happiness." Are you joking? Making someone else happy is the most selfless, loving, greatest gift you can give another human being.  That's what life is all about. Without happiness you have nothing!

Knowing the type of guy you're dating...and more importantly, understanding his reasons for dating you, will help you become more aware of what you're getting into....long before you become dissatisfied or disappointed.  The best advice I can offer is to make sure you date for the right reason; however, you choose to define "right."

Kissing

All men are very aware how important kissing is to women. And I'm not just talking about the first kiss. Being a "good kisser" is paramount to any sustainable relationship. The reason is simply because, to women, kissing isn't just a physical act; rather, it showcases an emotional and intimate connection. The power and allure of a kiss is why hookers and escorts tend to refrain from it...unless you're with one who's offering the GE....as in, "Girlfriend Experience."....that's what I've heard anyway.  So, what is it, specifically, that makes a man a good kisser?

Most of my entries and feelings pervaded on this site derive from an accurate sampling of the male population which ranges from random strangers to friends and family across all ages. On occasion, I relate personal stories that tend to back up what other men may think as well. But when it comes to my kissing theory, I am only going on what I know and have personally experienced for more than 20 years. 

In something that's going to now seem curiously at odds with my consistent candor and openness,  I've never had one single conversation with another man about kissing proficiency or techniques. The only time I've discussed kissing with other men is to debate who we would and would not kiss. And it's worth noting, everyone who I had this conversation with backed me up on my proclamation, which is: Men will only kiss someone they want to have sex with. And by kiss...I mean KISS. The sole stand alone was my younger married brother who thinks it's okay to just kiss anyone. Ha. I have no idea where he gets this thinking from. Not from me. And certainly not from other men. I figured though since I made such an absolute statement I'd point out there's always an exception. But go ahead. Don't take my word for it, or my brother's. Do your own survey. Ask any guy if they're wrapping their tongue around someone they have no interest in having sex with.

On the flip side, I believe women will kiss just for kissing sake with no other intentions or motives. However, unlike a man who's already established he wants to have sex with said person BEFORE the kiss, a woman can easily be transformed into now wanting to have sex AFTER a kiss. 

Another element to the kiss that I find fascinating is that most women look to the man to initiate it. At least when it comes to the first kiss. Men must be the ones to make it happen. Take control. However, that power is short lived and fleeting. And this is what I think is the hardly mentioned, almost, secret art of the "good" kiss. Men must kiss a woman exactly how she wants to be kissed.

Being a good kisser doesn't necessarily mean your technique or style is better or more skilled than another. It means you know how to follow your partner. No two people kiss the same and no two women like the same  kind of kiss. Some of you like it slow, soft and tender. Some of you like it passionate, strong and deep. Some of you like it both ways. Sometimes it depends on your mood, the situation, the environment....the moon. In other words, until we touch lips there's no way of predicting or knowing how you wish to be  handled.

How quickly and smoothly a guy transitions to how the woman wants to kiss determines whether or not he is a "good" kisser. Now, I'm not saying a man cannot move the kiss forward or back on his own. What I'm saying is that he has to properly assess if it's OK to do so. Proceed, but proceed with caution. A good kisser   knows when to take the lead, when to back off, when to follow...how much tongue to use...all of these things require an accurate feeling what the woman wants, likes...and perhaps, needs in that moment.  Any misread by the man and his kissing prowess drops. 

When it comes to kissing a woman the key is much the same as with other things. Give her what she wants.

*I've added this last note after the initial posting because after a female friend of mine read the entry she asked me if guys can be turned away from a woman if she's a bad kisser they will no longer want to have sex with her? That's a very good question, and not sure why I didn't address it earlier. So here goes. Yes. A man can be turned off by how a woman kisses him; however, not so turned off to the point where he suddenly decides not to have sex with you. We may just end up kissing you less, or just suck it up until we're finished. Literally.  More than likely, what it does mean is that we won't continue to see you or date you on any regular basis. 

Cuddling

Men know perfectly well that cuddling is something all women want to do...pre-sex..post-sex....no sex....women are always up for a good cuddle. 

As a man, I understand the appeal...it's warm, comforting, loving. It's an intrinsic human connection that is both physical and emotional. In its basic nature, it's rather innocent. I even know a woman in Los Angeles who throws "cuddle" parties in her home for people who lack intimacy in their lives or just want to feel "connected" to another human being. I get it. But women should also be very aware of how men think about cuddling, because it's quite different from the female perspective. And when I say "how men think" what I really mean is, how ALL men think.

To a heterosexual man, the cuddle can be all of the things I just described above, but it's also a gateway to sex. Check that. It's ALWAYS a gateway to sex. 

Now, before you go and get your panties in a twisted knot, I'm NOT saying we ONLY cuddle in hopes of sex....what I'm saying is, if we cuddle with you, we are going to WANT sex. That is a natural response from a normal heterosexual man. And no man should ever have to apologize for wanting more than just a cuddle from an attractive woman. Any physical contact with a woman we find attractive is going to arouse us. We're that easy.  Like it or not, it's  how we're wired. This goes for dirty dancing too.  And our sensational response to that kind of physical contact needs to be respected.

I know what you're thinking too. What about when we cuddle with women we're not attracted to?  Easy. We never do that. We're only cuddling, giving neck and back massages and rubbing feet with women we're attracted to. Any man who discounts this practice is one of two things. Gay. Or full of shit.

I recently told a woman that I could not cuddle with her because I knew we were not going to have sex, so why would I tease, torture and afflict myself with a frustrating and discomforting case of blue balls?  Because that's exactly what would have happened. She was sad to hear it and couldn't quite understand why "cuddling" was such a big deal. And why couldn't I just enjoy it for simply what it was?

The reason we can't enjoy the cuddle for cuddle sake is because men are extreme sexual beings....much more so than women. This doesn't make us dirty dogs or sexually deviant. In fact, what it makes us is perfectly healthy men. Or perhaps, we're just not nearly as "evolved" as women. I'm willing to acknowledge women can departmentalize and separate sex from every other activity that isn't "sex".  It's really an amazing skill. Men cannot do this. We're always thinking about it or have the instant capacity to think of it....no matter how presently removed we may be from a sexual situation. Nothing can stop the thoughts from entering our mind. We could be cleaning dog shit off our shoes and a pretty woman could appear in our line of sight and we'll still think about her sexually. Bad example. OK, so maybe we are a bit of a collective dirty dog. Don't like it? You can always go lesbian.

Personally, I love cuddling, but I'm also still highly indifferent toward sex. I have no desire to pursue it, much less have it. However, if you stick an attractive woman's beautiful ass against my cock and expect me to snuggle up and hold her tight against my body...I'm automatically going to start thinking about and wanting sex. Men are not built with the strict on/off switch that women possess. We can't just "shut it down" or turn away a pending orgasm....yes...we may have emotional or physical or drug related issues that prevent us from performing, but no man can just decide to stop when he actively wants to have sex, and when he's already engaged in the process. If we shut it down it's only because we no longer want to have sex because you're yelling "STOP!" or we suddenly don't want to cheat on our partner, if we have one.  Those are about the only two explanations for not "finishing."  In every other case...there is no stop sign ahead for us. Our light is always set to green.

Marijuana is commonly referred to as a "gateway" drug by its opponents. Well, to men...cuddling is our gateway drug to the land of hope, dreams and....nakedness.

Chris Rock's Differences Between Men & Women

I caught a replay of Chris Rock's stand up special, Kill the Messenger, the other night and while I've seen it before...I forgot how much he talked about the differences between men and women. Yes he's a comedian...and yes he's trying to make us laugh...but he also speaks the truth...the naked truth on how men think...all men. In Rock we trust. Trust me.

However, I must provide a disclaimer. Most, if not all of what you ladies are about to hear, you will not agree with, nor will you be particularly flattered by Rock's commentary. But it is how accurate in how men perceive the differences between us. The truth isn't always pretty...but, it's usually pretty funny.

Among the highlights from his routine...."Dick is free, pussy costs money"......"What do women want? EVERYTHING."...."Woman cannot go back in lifestyle, men cannot go back sexually." 

Take 8 minutes and watch this. If nothing else, you'll have some inappropriate material for a future dinner conversation.

Chris Rock - Differences Between Men & Women

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3dGhsRsHXP8