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Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Why Are We Still Here?

A couple of years ago I came across a website called "whyareyoustillhere" which had me immediately wondering, 'What man or men could have possibly inspired such a sensational creation?' And then I quickly realized, ME!...I was the reason this site was created. You think I'm joking, but I'm not. The site asked women to submit stories that showed men still hanging around or communicating when it was clearly "over." It appears the website has since been taken down, but nevertheless, it brings up a worthwhile discussion.

When I shared this female driven and directed site with other men they all remarked in the same way. They all questioned, Why would a woman be so disturbed by cold to angry? Is she jaded? Is she just a bitch?  How can anyone be so dismissive by someone who's offering the one thing everyone wants.

No man would ever think to produce a site like this, let alone ask the question. We know why you're still loved us. You were crazy about us. We get it. Just because we've been told you're no longer interested doesn't mean we're able to automatically turn our heart off.  Despite what you may think or what some of us have led you to believe, we're not nearly the Emotional Ninjas* you ladies are.

*Emotional Ninjas is a catch phrase conceived by Comedian Whitney Cummings, who to our knowledge, is in no way responsible for the above mentioned website, nor as of this writing, has had any relations with The Naked Truther.

I have an additional thought on the subject: A man's feelings are only as relevant as much as a woman is willing to accept them. In other words, women can only handle the emotion they're prepared for or want to receive. Disagree? Think you're capable? Ready for us now? Maybe. But more likely, you won't be ready until YOU'RE ready. And that'[s not very evolved or nurturing.

Go ahead. Take a survey. Every man thinks the above notion  is true about you. It has to be on your terms when you're ready...only then are we allowed to love you.

Now, I'll attempt to answer more specifically why we're still the most general of terms.

Men are fighters, in the sense we're raised to never give up. Especially athletes. If a man's played any kind of sports, he's competitive. Winners never quit. Defeat is not an option. Persistence counts. That last one was actually said to me by a woman. And speaking of women...I can't even begin to tell you how many times a woman has changed her mind with me...what we were going to do...or not do. Get out. No. Stay. You gotta' go. No. One more. For a guy, it's exhausting and confusing. But it also makes us think we always have a chance because we never know when you're going to change your mind....again.

And then there's these reasons.....

Because you left us with unanswered questions and still have yet to answer them.

Because we fell in love with you as soon as we met you.

Because something happened to you too....for when we asked you out the next day you said "we should "definitely go out.....not "Maybe" or "I don't even know you"....but "definitely".

Because our connection and chemistry was the kind people dream about.

Because we thought you were our dream girl.

Because we wrote a poem about you before we even went out.

Because we wanted to fly across the country to see you and take you to see our favorite band (as if I need to say the name) for our first date.

Because we would have flown around the world to take you to see yours.

Because we recorded your favorite band in concert on our DVR....and saved it for months.

Because we walked special to a corner in NYC and took a picture of a street sign that bore your last name.

Because we patiently waited 2 months to see you.

Because the shorts we wore the day we met had your last name inscribed on the inside waistline....unbeknowst to us.

Because of how you looked at us....and smiled at us.

Because you held our hand.

Because you told us you loved our laugh....and our smell....and our taste.

Because you couldn't wait to get us naked.

Because your clothes were begging to be ripped off.

Because you looked like an angel on your doorstep.

Because we met on an ominous date like 10/10/10. 11/11/11 or 12/12/12.

Because you told us we'd have plenty of practice.

Because even if you were seeing someone else, it does now affect how you make us feel.

Because the nipple never lies.

Because we told everyone we knew about you.

Because we couldn't wait to fall asleep with you....and then wake up next to you.

Because we loved how you felt in our arms.

Because you thought we were "so sexy".

Because you told us to give our Mother a kiss for you.

Because you told us you couldn't wait to see us....and then later that you needed to see us.

Because you kissed us like no one has ever kissed us before.

Because we felt your heat penetrating your jeans between your legs that first night in your bed.

Because you texted us before we even got home how incredible the night was.

Because you admitted you were holding back the second night in your bed....and this was after you had already been more turned on then any other woman we'd ever been with previous.

Because we think you're not being honest with yourself....or with others.

Because we couldn't wait to listen to you talk to us.

Because we were done with women before we met you.

Because we felt lucky.

Because you once made us happy.

Because we know you have no idea what you want....and that you don't actually have everything figured out like you told us you thought you did.

Because you were crazy and we dig that about you (Wedding Crashers reference).

Because you asked us if we were in touch with our feminine side and we still have no fucking idea what that means...why ask if you never cared about the answer?

Because you told us we make dreams come true...and we wanted to believe you.

Because what ever happened in Vegas did not stay in Vegas.

Because you turned us on more than any other women ever had.

Because you told us the sex with your previous boyfriend(s) was terrible.

Because we're crazy....hopeless...and romantic.

Because we'd wait forever for you...because we already had been waiting forever to meet someone like you.

Because we think with our heart and our head.

Because you said you were a talker and not a texter.

Because love is's crazy, it's stupid, it's intoxicating....and it affects us all differently.

Because you said a lot of things that's left us wondering what was real and what was not.

And finally....because no matter how much of us grows to loathe you and your chilling, callous indifference...and how you chose to be with someone else who took God knows how long to tell you that he wanted to be serious, and then you end up actually rewarding him for acting like he didn't give a shit for as long as he did....couple with the possibility you may in fact suffer from a serious bi-polar illness.....even with all that knowledge......a small part of us....will...still, always love you.

That's the reason why we're still here.